Becoming an adult
Monday, April 28th, 2008Dear Masters, I am 23 years old, have a college degree, work a full-time well-paying job, and have been admitted to professional school for an MS/PhD in Neurophysiology. Since junior year in college I have been living with my boyfriend who is paying all the living expenses. My parents have paid for my education and have told me that if I move back home, they will pay for my advanced degrees (the school is near their home). My boyfriend is mad at me for not contributing to our expenses since I have been working, but I am updating my wardrobe and saving for a much-needed vacation. It seems like everyone is placing demands upon me and I don’t like it! What should I do?
We are going to be very blunt: You need to grow up and assume responsibility for your own actions. From your question it is very apparent that you are extremely intelligent but also very naive when it comes to life.
Animals are taken care of by their parents and care givers only until they reach a point where they are capable of taking care of themselves. Then, whether they like it or not, they are kicked out of the den, nest, or home. If they fail to assume responsibility for themselves they do not survive long without being fed. [The Masters are showing the channel a baby bird having an insect shoved into its beak by a parent, while another bird starves because it has no parent.]
Out of love, your boyfriend has taken care of you while you were consumed with your studies. He assumed that once you began making money you would take over the part of your own upkeep that he had been volunteering. Instead, while he still works hard to pay for himself and take care of you, you have been selfishly taking your salary and using it on non-essentials. He is hurt and fed up by your attitude. You have not even been willing to listen to the dilemma he feels he has fallen into. You continue to act like a spoiled little princess entitled to have her own way no matter what.
Your parents feel a sense of responsibility for you, but only if you are still under their roof so that they may monitor your progress toward emancipation. You have book learning, and those who love you want to make sure you now obtain common sense so that you may finally become an “adult”.