QUESTION: Masters my mother always had emotional problems, frequently she says things to make people uncomfortable, she always blames everybody and says she is a victim of every situation. She had problem with every person of the family and now she is getting old, me and my sister don’t feel comfortable in taking care of her. I don’t even feel love about her, I don’t hate her, but I don’t want her making my life a turbulence because of her psychic outbreaks. She affects me because I believe that I’ve got her energetic identity since my childhood so this is a thing which I have to deal for the rest of my life. Please help me to understand this situation. ~Cr, Brazil
ANSWER: Your mother is a very fearful, unhappy person who has always liked to be the center of attention. She does not take any responsibility for what she says or does and tries to get people into conflict with each other. Your mother has been a manipulative person your entire life and has created a belief in you that you cannot do anything but comply with her quirks in the manner she has trained you.
Her effect on you has nothing to do with your energetic identity but with the fact that she has programmed you to act the way she does. You do not see any alternatives so you go along like a meek pet and respond to her threats and actions as she has ordained. You do have freedom of choice, but it does not become active until you realize what your choices are.
No one can affect the life of another person unless that person allows them to cause a disruption. If you tolerate your mother’s rantings without engaging in the fray, she will get tired when no one responds or plays along. Accept that she has always been this way, and her aging infuriates her because she feels she has lost control. While you are aware of her antics, you don’t quake and stand in fear and awe anymore, and she is seeking to get you to react.
Laugh at her as you would any misguided, misbehaving child. Tell her you are not going to be a part of her guilt trips because they do not involve you. Inform her that you will no longer tolerate her outbursts and that she will not be welcome in your presence if she persists with them. Talk with her about other places she might have to stay if she continues to be irresponsible.