QUESTION: Masters, I have been a huge believer in love and always hoping and wanting love in my life. Every time when I feel I have gotten it, it falls apart quicker than I can blink my eyes. Don’t tell me that I don’t feel I deserve love, I do feel that very much. My current relationship was wonderful the first month, he was everything I ever asked for, second month I wasn’t even sure it was the same man! I know he has lot to deal with his life, a daughter with a woman who is evil to the core but I never said a bad word to him about her, although he and his dad have told me this woman is dangerous and evil. Does that mean my relationship is doomed with him because of him having a young child with this evil woman? I know it is lot to deal with but love is supposed to be stronger than anything, unless he hasn’t been honest with me. ~Kristiine, USA
ANSWER: There are several types of love. There is love of self, the unconditional love of the universe and Source, and then romantic love, which only exists on Earth and is felt through the human body. What you seek is romantic love, that “feel good” in the nerve endings of the body, responding to stimulation from the object of your affection. That is the minutest of love. If you do not unconditionally love yourself and the journey you are on, you cannot give or receive love from another individual.
Loving yourself carries you through all those times in your life when another is not around to provide the romantic love. Romantic love may be dangerous because it colors all that you see and want to feel. It creates a curtain of denial over new people you meet when you desperately want to have that sense of movie-style romance. You do not allow yourself to see the flaws.
Your new love has been mostly honest with you except for how much he is still under the control of the mother of his child. The child is being used as a pawn to get him to do whatever she wants. She is aware of the discomfort of the situation and relishes having you feel bad. She considers getting you involved adds another layer of control she has over him.
You have the freedom of choice to stay with this difficult life lesson or to move on to another. You have established a pattern of drawing to you only men who have problems in their lives that will impact your partnership. Start seeing the type of man who will come into a relationship without baggage. Treat yourself to a simple union based on open, easy friendship and then let it grow into more.