When is enough, enough?

QUESTION: Masters over ten years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my two children announced, “Dad told us we didn’t have to take care of a parent.” I got over my shock, hurt, respected their right of choice and moved on. I embraced your teachings to be true to my soul’s lesson plan first, doing whatever makes me happy. After a full recovery, I remarried a lovely man, and we are now traveling the world. I have focused on being kind, compassionate, loving wherever I go. My kids,
now age 27 and 30, recently issued an email ultimatum that I return “home” and behave like a “normal mother” or I am not welcome as their mother anymore. I am flourishing, healthy and living my life to the fullest without them. Is cutting off ALL further contact with my kids now in the Highest and Greatest Good for all concerned? ~Mary Anne, Australia

ANSWER: Your children are very selfish and manipulative and want to have you available to assist them with their lives when they deem it necessary. Ignore them as they ignored your needs so many years ago. Just as then, the only thing that is important to you should be your own journey and what you have learned along the way. You have done a marvelous job learning that lesson – each soul has responsibility only for learning about themselves.

Your response to them should be that you don’t have to take care of adult children. To them, a normal mother is one who is at the beck and call of the children to run errands, babysit, and help get things ready for their entertaining. You do not need to have their title and definition of mother in your vocabulary.

They are also a little jealous of the life you and your husband have made after all you went through. Your ex, as well, has conveyed to them his disquiet that your life is so much better than his. They harbor a good deal of guilt for the way they treated you and think it will all be excused if you “join” into their lives now. You still have freedom of choice.

If they wish to make demands of you “as their mother,” they have to understand that it is a two-way street: you have no need for them now, and they chose to stay away when there was a need. If they wish to create a gulf between you if you fail to meet their demands, then so be it.

Cutting the apron strings was done a long time ago, but disconnecting the communication line is up to you. What is for your highest and greatest good is what feels right to you. Your desire to be kind, compassionate, and loving can come with a huge price tag – losing yourself for the benefit of another. Remember your lessons.