Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Trying to be who they want you to be

Tuesday, July 11th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters my one love, husband, after 18 years cheated on me, had another life, we have a daughter who is 2 and we are divorcing. He also has a porn addiction and I was made to do things I did not want, I’m as heartbroken as they come. Is there any meaning in this misery, is this my karma? I was faithful and very good to this man; but my love wasn’t enough. Your guidance is appreciated more than you know. ~Julianna, USA

ANSWER: This is not “karma” because it is not a punishment for something you have done. It is a part of your life lesson in honoring yourself, having self-confidence, and not allowing yourself to be manipulated. From the beginning of this relationship you have done whatever your husband requested, suggested, or demanded without ever speaking up because you thought that was necessary to get him to love you.

He has always been a selfish, egotistical, manipulative narcissist who was only ever concerned about his own sexual satisfaction. At no time did he ever consider that you were equal to him, and his very last thought was that the marriage should ever approach a sharing union. He has rarely been faithful to you.

You became infatuated early with him and the thought that he wanted little old you. You have struggled throughout your lifetime with thinking you are not worthy of anything else and that a wife should be obedient in the marriage. This is a life lesson that can be understood and put to rest with a little work.

You are a piece of Source energy, the same as he is. You are as magnificent, powerful, and deserving as Source. Allow yourself to accept that and demand that you be honored as the beautiful soul you are.

As you leave the marriage, visualize an ideal situation and bring a sharing, wonderful man into your life. In all coming relationships, always speak your own truth. Do not say or do something because you sense the other person wants you to perform in a way other than is comfortable to you. Be yourself, honor yourself, and you will find stability and happiness.

Looking for rejection

Tuesday, June 20th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters, I’ve always, had difficulties with my relationships with other people. I was bullied and an outcast in my youth; I had a bad or shy temperament. Now in my early 20’s I get anxious around others and still seek approval. Rejection is painful and I get internally defensive easily, or daydream I’m impressing people who are “popular” or who I like. I also fantasize or obsess about members of the opposite sex who are unavailable to me. I get angry with people who disrespect me easily. I know this is from early trauma, but why can’t I let it go? It’s not who I am – I know I’m capable of unconditional love but my ego feels big and stuck in a place of pushing away normal social interactions. I have good friends and a partner, but much of my fear centers around rejection there as well. ~Catherine, Canada

ANSWER: We are sure it comes as no surprise that your major lesson involves all aspects of rejection. You are constantly on high alert for the feeling of rejection, both directly and from your own expectations. All souls, in order to grow, must learn to love themselves. As long as you continue to reject yourself and your life, you will never achieve understanding and self-love.

Seeking approval is saying to the world that they know more about you than even you do. You give them the power to make decisions for you as to how you should feel and react, yet you get angry when they comply with your wishes. It is hard to have respect for someone who thinks so little of themselves. You are telling them it is what you expect, so they comply.

Going into your dreams is running away from seeing how you may deal with these lessons. Your ego keeps you firmly in the middle of judgment where you demand, as do all egos, that things be constantly graded, rated, rejected, and judged. To break this cycle you are in, step away from judgment and begin evaluating whether you truly wish to have an association with those around you.

You don’t think you are worthy of being in the popular group so you hold yourself away from them. Envision yourself as part of any group of which you desire to be a part. That will allow you to take back your power to decide who will be your friends without any aspect of rejection. Release the need to be rejected. We know that sounds strange, but when you anticipate rejection is around every corner, you manifest it into your life.

Demanding parents

Tuesday, May 30th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters I am a grown woman with kids. However, I have a mother that is extremely clingy and demanding and wants me to visit and stay with her all the time. If I do not visit at least once a week she gets very sulky, angry and upset. I have explained constantly to her that with kids, work, and study I can’t always be there for her but she is selfish and doesn’t care. My husband wants to move to another state, but she gets furious and angry even when I mention this possibility. She is 92 and in very good health, so I feel guilty and pressured to be there for her. I understand she is being selfish but I can’t help feeling guilty. Though I do try to not pander to her. Is this a past life karmic relationship? And how can I best deal with it. ~Lola, Australia

ANSWER: You are allowing yourself to be manipulated, controlled, badgered, and intimidated. You owe this woman, who just happens to be called your mother, nothing. Think back over your lifetime during all the circumstances when she could have been beneficial to you and chose not to help because it was inconvenient for her. Looking at your life, why do you feel guilty? You have never done anything to generate those feelings.

Age does not bestow the privilege to dictate to others. Granted, she is lonely right now, but mostly that is of her own doing. She has not ingratiated herself with others with whom she could share her time. She figures she has you at her beck and call, so why should she seek out anyone else?

Do not let her control your life. Your purpose in life is to provide for your family and grow them into caring, loving individuals. Seeing you catering to an ungrateful mother is not setting a very good example for them.

Your husband’s desire to move is based on the future of his family. While he understands your mother’s desire to be the center of your universe, she should not be, and it frustrates him that you give in so easily. This is a lesson for you in discerning the importance of each aspect of your life. You are not honoring or loving yourself. You have freedom of choice. Don’t let others make your choices for you.

This is not “karmic” as you call it because that would imply that it is a punishment. This is a lesson in self-worth and understanding character issues such as guilt, obligation, allowing others to control, and being true to your own path in life.