Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Relationship indecision

Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for couple of years now and even though I love her as my best friend, I’ve become to realize that she is not necessarily the one I would like to marry. I have lost the passion and this pattern has happened before. I’m wondering whether I should look inside myself to maybe discover some childhood wounds that need healing, and once healed would help me become certain about my current girlfriend, or if I should just move on and approach the next relationship with more intention and certainty of what I actually want from a relationship & spouse. This is really difficult for me as there’s a lot of internal conflict. I would greatly appreciate your reflections. ~Chris, USA

ANSWER: As each soul goes through their experiences within a human body, they are ever evolving in understanding and awareness while they work through their chosen lessons. One of yours is to experience and learn to deal with various aspects of relationships and romantic love. Not all relationships, even between a male and a female, will develop into romantic love. As you say, this girlfriend is cherished as a best friend and not a potential mate.

She is not sure what the relationship is supposed to be, but believes in romantic fantasies of forever after. It is important that you create a communication that emphasizes your lack of investment in this pairing as a permanent one – that it has come to be viewed by you as a comforting, best-friend matchup.

Your loss of passion in the relationship stems from the fact that neither one of you was completely honest with the other about your desires and intentions when you began dating. Through the intervening period you have discovered that some of the initial impressions were far from what exists. You were each trying to get the union to match the expectations with which you entered into it.

Your experiences are not the result of childhood traumas but rather merely the lessons you chose. You do need to define exactly what you envision as a perfect relationship before you are going to be able to achieve one. You have freedom of choice to re-evaluate your current situation or move on to something else that you can spend more time and truthfulness developing.

The internal conflict you have results from your expectations conflicting with the facts of your situation. You create the reality you live in. Take some time and manipulate it to your standards and desires. Go into anything new with total openness and truthfulness. Don’t anticipate what you think your partner wishes to hear.

Dealing with relationships

Tuesday, August 29th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters, I really need your guidance. My husband and I have been facing a lot of difficulties in our marriage lately. We have been dealing with addiction, past infidelity and In-law issues. The bulk of our issues stem from negativity from our in-laws because they disapprove of our inter-racial relationship. I feel as though their negativity is like a dark cloud over us. It’s constant and just not going away. We want to fight for our marriage but we feel stuck and blocked. What can we do to cleanse this negativity from around us? My husband is too attached to his family to cut them off despite their insults and negativity. ~Holly, United States

ANSWER: A relationship exists between any two humans who have dealings with each other – be it family, business, or social. It also refers to behaviors one has chosen for oneself to express their life. Overshadowing all this is the soul’s freedom of choice to address these issues in the exact fashion it wishes. Giving power to anyone else to affect your life is allowing them to take over your freedom of choice and have your world run as they desire.

Relationships take many forms such as active, passive, repulsive, and avoiding. In an active relationship, both parties are involved in the energy of the activity, frequently called a sharing one, but it might also be a co-dependence where each party needs the other for self-sustenance. In a passive affiliation, you are in this connection through birth, marriage, or employment, and you take no active part in sustaining it.

When emotions enter into one side or the other, such as you with your in-laws, the response may result in repulsing the connection or avoiding it all together. These always include huge amounts of negativity, bringing additional negativity into other aspects of your life. Your biggest problem is dealing with this negativity.

Solutions start with your response to the negativity. Do you let it taint your reaction to life? Do you wallow in it and let it fester and increase? Be conscious of how you feel about yourself. Choose to remain in unconditional love rather than basking in negativity. If you let the taunting of your in-laws take hold of you so that you accept some or all of their rantings, they win because you give up your freedom of choice to them.

It is important for both you and your husband to make your own mind up concerning this marriage. If you feel it is the right thing for you, then ignore what everyone else has to say and support each other in your love. Acknowledge that these people have the right to their opinions, but that doesn’t mean you have to acquiesce to their conclusions. You will then no longer have to run away through actions and addictions to avoid the situation. Just be an observer and not a participant.

Being played for a chump

Tuesday, August 8th, 2017

QUESTION:  Masters I have a man in my life who I have known for about 11 years. We have lost touched and re-connected many times. I feel very connected to him and sometimes feel so much love coming from him but then he will leave me for another woman, this has happened three times. It feels shattering, He’s often cruel to the other woman in his life but less so with me. Like he tries to shelter me. I love him so much and I feel lost every time he leaves. I’m not sure if he is a good person but I feel very close to him. What are our lessons? ~J.C., U.S.A

ANSWER: You are an easy touch for this philandering manipulator. He appears to treat you better than the others because he knows you will repeatedly accept him back regardless of what he has done. Your connection to him is a comfort in knowing exactly what he will do, a desire that he will stay longer this time, and the hope that he will at least return once again but sooner than before.

The love you think you feel coming from him is a reflection of your love, which you are sending to him. He is incapable of feeling or understanding what love is – for him it is all about the sexual act and the boosting of his ego when having total control of the situation. When he returns, you treat him like a returning hero and worship at his feet.

His “cruelty” is a reflection of the way he feels about all women. You only know the way he treats others because of things he has said, which is only the way he observes things from his egotistical vantage point. He can be very compassionate to get what he desires, but the world is all about him and his needs. Don’t fool yourself: you are just a means to an end for him.

You are infatuated with this “bad boy” image. He is not a person who would be considered good by most of society, even if admired by some men for his freedom of being able to go bed hopping.

Souls have freedom of choice, so you can continue to offer yourself up on the altar of this man’s “girl in every port” mentality or bring a sharing, caring person into your life who wants to create a stable, loving relationship. The choice is up to you; there are many, many more males out there.