Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

When is enough, enough?

Tuesday, December 17th, 2019

QUESTION: Masters over ten years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my two children announced, “Dad told us we didn’t have to take care of a parent.” I got over my shock, hurt, respected their right of choice and moved on. I embraced your teachings to be true to my soul’s lesson plan first, doing whatever makes me happy. After a full recovery, I remarried a lovely man, and we are now traveling the world. I have focused on being kind, compassionate, loving wherever I go. My kids,
now age 27 and 30, recently issued an email ultimatum that I return “home” and behave like a “normal mother” or I am not welcome as their mother anymore. I am flourishing, healthy and living my life to the fullest without them. Is cutting off ALL further contact with my kids now in the Highest and Greatest Good for all concerned? ~Mary Anne, Australia

ANSWER: Your children are very selfish and manipulative and want to have you available to assist them with their lives when they deem it necessary. Ignore them as they ignored your needs so many years ago. Just as then, the only thing that is important to you should be your own journey and what you have learned along the way. You have done a marvelous job learning that lesson – each soul has responsibility only for learning about themselves.

Your response to them should be that you don’t have to take care of adult children. To them, a normal mother is one who is at the beck and call of the children to run errands, babysit, and help get things ready for their entertaining. You do not need to have their title and definition of mother in your vocabulary.

They are also a little jealous of the life you and your husband have made after all you went through. Your ex, as well, has conveyed to them his disquiet that your life is so much better than his. They harbor a good deal of guilt for the way they treated you and think it will all be excused if you “join” into their lives now. You still have freedom of choice.

If they wish to make demands of you “as their mother,” they have to understand that it is a two-way street: you have no need for them now, and they chose to stay away when there was a need. If they wish to create a gulf between you if you fail to meet their demands, then so be it.

Cutting the apron strings was done a long time ago, but disconnecting the communication line is up to you. What is for your highest and greatest good is what feels right to you. Your desire to be kind, compassionate, and loving can come with a huge price tag – losing yourself for the benefit of another. Remember your lessons.

Changing circumstances

Tuesday, October 29th, 2019

QUESTION: Masters Please can you give me some guidance. Me and my husband are pretty sure he has Asperger’s. We are waiting a diagnosis. It makes sense to us now why he acts and thinks the way he does. It has caused me a lot of heartache and upset, and I now realize why I have depression and fibromyalgia. It’s a continuous battle with someone who has a different view on the world. I am always in some kind of stress mode dealing with it. Was this a pre-planned lesson? Was it a mutual plan to help each other or was it of my own making for my own benefit of learning? Is my husband being 100% honest and upfront with me about trying his best to get help and change? Can I deal with this in a better way? Or, is it time for me to move on? ~Jo, United Kingdom

ANSWER: Your lessons do include self-confidence and self-love using stress and stressors to set up most of your learning experiences. You are very empathic and take in the energy given off by those around you. You are an innate caregiver and persist in taking care of others even to your detriment. You are still trying to maintain the same degree of love for your husband that you had when you first fell for him.

No soul ever remains the same during their lifetime. You have grown apart from your husband through the choices each of you have made. It is time to start taking care of yourself and doing what you want to do and not what you feel you have to do.

Your husband enjoys negativity and getting responses out of those around him. He does not really dislike his current thought processes and isn’t doing much to evaluate and change his behavior. He is definitely not being truthful to you about his feelings and any attempts he is making to change himself because he is not unhappy with his current state.

His cavalier attitude is a major stressor for you and triggers mental and physical reactions that are harming your health. You have the freedom of choice to decide to remove yourself from this situation and find an environment where you can heal.

You have done everything you can to get him to understand what his actions are doing to you, but he just doesn’t really care. It is time to start honoring yourself and deciding how you want to live. In the spiritual sense nothing is right or wrong. Staying or leaving will both allow you to learn, but choosing another setting will allow you to get control of your emotions.

What was I thinking?

Tuesday, September 24th, 2019

QUESTION: Masters why did I choose my parents and my brother and sister as my family? I find it extremely difficult to get along with them due to different values. They have created a very toxic environment for me. I am thinking of minimizing contact with my parents, but I feel that it is very unfilial of me to do so because my parents try their best to raise me despite being given bad advice. But if I don’t minimize contact, I am exposing my child to a toxic environment. ~Tired of Fighting, Singapore

ANSWER: You wanted to see if you could examine the possibilities available to you and decide for yourself how you wished to live your life. Before you became aware of enlightenment – going from ego judgment into unconditionally loving energy – you were more in line with your family. When you started accepting the feelings you were getting from the way people reacted to you and made demands of you, it was time to make choices.

Until you started realizing you had choices, possibilities you didn’t even previously know existed, you had no choice but to do what you were directed to do by others. Choices are now available that would either comply with or be diametrically opposed to your family’s beliefs.

You have freedom to choose either, neither, or a different direction entirely. One of your chosen lessons was to see if you could develop self-love and self-confidence in your own path. By following others for whatever reason, familial or societal, you are giving up your power and identity to them. A soul’s journey is a solo affair. You cannot live anyone else’s life or make worthwhile decisions for them. You do not grow unless you assume responsibility for your actions.

To progress, you must make each decision because it feels right to you, not because you believe someone else wishes it. Your parents did what they thought was the right thing to do since they followed the beliefs of the society around them. They feel strongly that everything must be rated, graded, and judged to establish its worth in the world.

From the spiritual perspective, you owe them nothing. You can still love the fact that they are being faithful to their beliefs, even though you feel they are not the right principles for you to follow. Be yourself. Do what you feel is the correct thing for your daughter’s future. You have no obligation to any other.