Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Anger controlling my life

Tuesday, November 14th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters, I’m writing you because of anger problems. Lately I’ve been thinking that me and my husband might both be bipolar. You said he was my soulmate, so I do not understand how is it possible that we argue literally every day. I was not like that, sometimes I feel like I’m being possessed from an evil spirit. I want my anger to go away, I want to be the sweet and caring “submissive” wife but unfortunately, I’m not. He irritates me a lot, and so does our baby daughter. Since her birth I no longer feel sexually attracted to him, I love him but I’m no longer in love. I want to change this situation, I’m tired of scream and shout at them. please help me understand what’s going on. ~Miamite, France

ANSWER: Being someone’s soulmate doesn’t guarantee bliss and happiness. It merely refers to the fact that you came into existence at about the same time. A soul frequently will ask a soulmate to be their biggest supporter or hugest antagonist so they may accomplish the lessons they wished, since they know them well enough to know they will be steadfast in the activity.

You are letting a lot of negativity creep into your life. Anger thrives in negative energy and draws even more to itself. When you sense anger or any negative emotion starting to take over your mood, remember the happiest time in your life and banish that bad feeling, replacing it with a loving one.

Your desire to be “submissive” is confusing your conscious mind. You do not like being controlled by anyone or anything, but submission guarantees that will occur. If you really mean that you wish to be a “good” wife by society standards, that means only that you both share in the relationship – sometimes you giving in to your husband and sometimes he doing the same for you.

This is your journey, not one where you play follow the leader. Decide how you want this life to look. Each soul creates their own reality; manifest it the way you desire. You have ultimate freedom of choice if you take it. Behave exactly as is comfortable for you.

Step back from the situation and see that, at the moment, you are overwhelmed with your life. You are so tired that you react instead of understanding an event. Your response of screaming feels good because it is a way to release the tension created by all the input racing toward you. Take some time just for yourself, whether it be a soothing bath, reading a book, or meditating.

Once you return to a more normal self-awareness, you can then determine the status of your “love.” Don’t throw things out in this time of frustration. Talk with your husband about your feelings being buried in negativity and the fact that you need time to find your center to rejuvenate your soul. Bring in as much unconditional love from the universe as you can manage and spread it around to your family.

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Facilitating dependence

Tuesday, October 10th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters my sister married a disturbed man and had 3 children. He abused her physically and she left him years ago. She raised her 3 children by herself with help from our parents. She has a downs syndrome daughter who she is now raising on her own with a live-in boyfriend. My father passed and mother bought her a mobile home so that she knows her daughter has a place to live. The problem is that my sister who is now in her mid-50’s still cannot get her life together. She does not work, nor does the live-in boyfriend they both live on the social security of her Down Syndrome daughter. The mobile home park says my sister is behind in the rent of the space. We continually give her money to get her out of binds. Do we stop giving her money and just let her go on the way she is and what happens happen? ~Deborah, United States

ANSWER: Your sister is living the life of the privileged. All those who have for years bailed her out of any difficulties and allowed her to depend on them for everything have facilitated her in becoming the person she is today. She doesn’t see that she needs to be responsible for anything because it will just “appear” when she needs it.

She and her lazy boyfriend will never do anything unless they are forced into it. She has even told the park personnel that her family will take care of the rent so that they will not bother her. If all the Social Security money were used for necessities, your sister would be able to get by – but she and the boyfriend are using it for their pleasure.

Nothing is right or wrong in the way you treat this situation, but your sister will not change unless she is forced to assume responsibility for herself. The only victim here is her daughter. It may be necessary to get the court system involved to protect your niece. If she is placed in a group home, your sister will no longer be able to depend on her Social Security and will become aware that it is time to find a way to support herself.

Without the money coming in, the boyfriend will leave. This may seem drastic to you, since you have always been there, but that is what has allowed this pattern to perpetuate. Your whole family must agree to force your sister into self-reliance.  The choice is yours.

Relationship indecision

Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for couple of years now and even though I love her as my best friend, I’ve become to realize that she is not necessarily the one I would like to marry. I have lost the passion and this pattern has happened before. I’m wondering whether I should look inside myself to maybe discover some childhood wounds that need healing, and once healed would help me become certain about my current girlfriend, or if I should just move on and approach the next relationship with more intention and certainty of what I actually want from a relationship & spouse. This is really difficult for me as there’s a lot of internal conflict. I would greatly appreciate your reflections. ~Chris, USA

ANSWER: As each soul goes through their experiences within a human body, they are ever evolving in understanding and awareness while they work through their chosen lessons. One of yours is to experience and learn to deal with various aspects of relationships and romantic love. Not all relationships, even between a male and a female, will develop into romantic love. As you say, this girlfriend is cherished as a best friend and not a potential mate.

She is not sure what the relationship is supposed to be, but believes in romantic fantasies of forever after. It is important that you create a communication that emphasizes your lack of investment in this pairing as a permanent one – that it has come to be viewed by you as a comforting, best-friend matchup.

Your loss of passion in the relationship stems from the fact that neither one of you was completely honest with the other about your desires and intentions when you began dating. Through the intervening period you have discovered that some of the initial impressions were far from what exists. You were each trying to get the union to match the expectations with which you entered into it.

Your experiences are not the result of childhood traumas but rather merely the lessons you chose. You do need to define exactly what you envision as a perfect relationship before you are going to be able to achieve one. You have freedom of choice to re-evaluate your current situation or move on to something else that you can spend more time and truthfulness developing.

The internal conflict you have results from your expectations conflicting with the facts of your situation. You create the reality you live in. Take some time and manipulate it to your standards and desires. Go into anything new with total openness and truthfulness. Don’t anticipate what you think your partner wishes to hear.