Archive for the ‘Life Lessons’ Category

Helping someone else with lessons

Tuesday, September 19th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters, would you please advise me how best to help my youngest daughter. She has had type one diabetes since age 7 and struggles with anxiety and panic attacks. Apparently type ones are more prone to mental health issues. She has always been a very nervous child and had a very traumatic delivery into this world. I don’t want her to always have to struggle but to be, as far as possible, a “normal” teenager. ~Caroline, Ireland

[In compliance with US law, the Spirit Masters do not diagnose or prescribe for medical conditions. Their observations are spirit-based and concern life lessons. Readers may like to review details of the Masters’ booklet/ebook on healing.]

ANSWER: As hard as it may be to accept, your daughter chose the lessons she is living. Trauma and discomfort highlight her emotions. You saw this from the way she struggled even through her birth. She is sensitive, but she is also very strong when she wants to be.

It is important not to over-react to her difficulties because she senses the anxiety of those around her and believes she has to add their fears on top of her own. There is no such thing as “normal.” You create your own reality, and if you think something should occur in a certain way, anything but that is considered abnormal.

Everyone is different and approaches life in their unique way. Your daughter sees the fear those around her express, and for that reason she feels she should respond in kind. Encouraging her to find things at which she can excel will alter the “broken” title she has attached to herself.

She will find music to be very soothing. Expressing herself in any of the arts will bring her into the mainstream educational system. Through her natural talent she will gather a group around her who have similar interests. She does not have to be a cheerleader or a sportsperson to succeed in life.

Right now, she is her own worst critic because she tries to compare herself to her classmates. Let her understand that she is special and doesn’t have to follow the boring path that everyone else has chosen.

Dealing with life lessons

Tuesday, September 12th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters my mother used to be very critical of me when I was growing up but I have gotten over it and let go of her negativity. However, I recently started helping her learn English and I’ve noticed that she is also extremely critical of herself. Though her language skills are quite good, she keeps saying that she is a loser and too stupid to learn anything even if she tries. I give her examples of her successes and try telling her that negativity will not help her but she continues to be very harsh on herself. Should I let her continue or try and change her outlook? I know that the choice is ultimately hers and I know that I would like to help her but maybe I’m overlooking some bigger lesson that she is learning and should not disturb her with my projections of her needs? ~Greta, Lithuania

ANSWER: You and your mother are dealing – and in your case have dealt with – almost identical life lessons. The difference here is that you worked on your doubts and fears and integrated the knowledge into your life. Your mother still allows hers to haunt her and make her miserable. She will not be able to change unless she allows herself to modify her beliefs. She raised you in this fashion since she believed it was the way things were with both you and her.

One’s life is controlled by what rules and regulations they “believe” apply to their life and behavior. From a very early age, you and your mother were both told that you were dumb, lazy, and worthless, and would never amount to anything. You accepted this at first, but then you evaluated it from the way you had lived your life and knew that what you had been told was not the truth. You then deleted the defeatist beliefs and replaced them with the positive, successful abilities that you use today.

Your mother has difficulty accepting what you are saying because in her mind you are that damaged, worthless person she sees herself as being. What you are doing with showing her examples that defy her beliefs is one of the only ways for her to accept her erroneous feelings about herself.

Her only other hope of changing is to go on a spiritual quest to explore her beliefs about herself and her life. Right now, her life is surrounded with fear that she will do something wrong, which she anticipates and even expects to occur. To her there is no such thing as freedom of choice but rather everything is pre-determined and she knows her “lot in life,” having been told it often enough by others.

A spiritual venture would allow her, if she can accept it, to believe that she is as good as everyone else and that she determines her own rules and regulations for life. A hypnosis session, where she is introduced to her guides and some of the spiritual teachers, will soften the blow of how long she has kept herself locked into someone else’s beliefs. There is hope for her to accept, but the choice is still hers.

Dealing with negativity

Tuesday, September 5th, 2017

QUESTION: Masters I do not want to be around toxic people yet my sister-in-law is toxic and narcissistic. She is the center of family functions. If I don’t go my husband and children get upset and are asked all kinds of questions about why I’m not there. Am I supposed to go and learn to tolerate her toxic nature? Is this part of my journey? ~Anne, United States

ANSWER: How a person responds to an environment is completely within their control. Your sister-in-law is part of a lesson you chose requiring patience, honoring yourself and holding your own in the midst of negativity, and exercising freedom of choice.

You have to ask yourself what causes your violent reaction to her. You are not subjected to physical harm from her, so what is it that triggers your response? The actions of a person can harm you emotionally, such as she is doing, only if you allow her to have that effect on you.

There is a part of you that envies the attention focused on her and the fact that the rest of the family caters to her. Why is she any better than you? Well, she isn’t, unless you assign that label to her. Toxicity must be permitted to permeate your exterior for it to cause damage.

Accept that she is no better than anyone else. Accept that the opinions of other people all play into the life lessons they are working on, and honor their choices even when they are in opposition to your own. In the presence of negative energy, don’t react to it because that will only call more to the moment. Instead, fill your life with unconditional love for yourself first, and then for all the others so that they might understand the frivolous antics of your sister-in-law or the ones generating negativity.

Don’t judge what others are doing – that only plays into the ego workings of a non-spiritual person. Reject the negativity and bring in the positive love. Become an observer, just watching how everyone is making their decisions. This will help you not only to learn your own lessons but also to see if there is some other lesson out there you would like to study.