QUESTION: Masters – can you explain why people choose to have disabilities? I take care of a mentally disabled relative that no one else will step in and support. Though I am a giving, loving person, I am wondering if what I am doing is not healthy for me or this relative. Is she better off in a community where she is cared for physically in terms of shelter, food, etc. and social outlets that serve her needs. I am so burnt out being the martyr that I wonder if old beliefs of loyalty to family are harming my truest path. Help me, please, with insight. Is she better off in a protected facility? ~Lia, USA
ANSWER: All souls plan for the major lessons in their lives before entering into a body. Your relative, in agreement with other people she would have contact with including you, chose to be dependent on the assistance of others. She is trapped in an encasement that is malfunctioning. She sacrificed herself for the learning of others. Her unconscious soul is gathering all types of learning from observing how others react to her condition.
From your perspective, you are testing your belief system, which demands you take care of family members regardless of the expense to you in physical exhaustion. This is an ego-based, third-dimensional, societal requirement, instituted so that society does not have to assume the responsibility of taking care of these people. For you, the individual, it becomes a choice of honoring yourself and understanding that you are not the best person for this job.
Your relative would be better served in an environment where she can get stimulation from a group of people instead of just from you. You would benefit by getting your life back so that you may move on to other experiences. This is not selfish of you. This is being realistic about your limitations and acknowledging the expertise of others.
When you began this journey, you thought it would be temporary and that others would be there to help. You liked the thought of how you would be perceived as being a martyr without any understanding of the cost to you. As time passed, you saw this as something for which you are ill prepared; you question its efficacy but don’t know how to back out gracefully without the criticism you fear may come.
You are the only person for whom you should have concern. Let others say what they wish – they have not been in your shoes, nor have they even offered any assistance. Your relative needs to be in a place where her condition is understood and worked with constantly. Your next step is figuring out what you want to do to occupy all the time you spent with her.