QUESTION: Masters, I´m 34 and still living with my mom. I`ve been wanting to live in my own house for years but never felt confidence that it was the right moment (is there such a thing?) and I was afraid to not being able to support myself, as my mother has always told me so. I left my job for a more satisfying and joyful career (I´m a full time holistic therapist now) and want to move to another city to my own home. Am I abandoning my mom? Or being impulsive? Also I can´t figure out where, which city? Should I move right now or wait some months for financial safety. Will I have financial safety? ~Fernanda, Brazil
ANSWER: You are always where you need to be when you are there. The “need” is generally to learn a lesson that you have been avoiding or ignoring. You are changing some of the beliefs by which you have structured your life. You’re on what might be called a self-empowerment journey. Your mother has been your restraining strap. She has convinced you that you need to stick around because you are unable to take care of yourself; what she really wants is for you to stick around and take care of her.
Anyone who has spent as much time as you have thinking about and creating a new career and new destination is not being the least bit impulsive. You are still in fear-of-change mode because you have been told you can’t take care of yourself or make a living. The truth is that you can do anything you believe you can – anything you don’t prevent yourself from doing.
Your mother will be fine. She will act as though you are abandoning her so that you do not leave her. She likes to control you and will continue if you let her. The choice is yours. It is time she started taking complete care of herself. There is nothing that will prevent her from doing so.
Let your intuition tell you where and when to relocate. If you remain around there, your mother will find a way to ensnare you. To establish a steady clientele you need to be where the demand for your services exists and where you are available for people to return for more treatments. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to move.
Study the need for your work in cities that appeal to you. Reach out to those you know who are in the field and get some opinions; then meditate on the subject and see what feels right.