Archive for August, 2012

Choosing our world

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

QUESTION: Masters, a life lesson for me has to do with being able to express concern, frustration, or disappointment to others in a timely manner so that it does not build up and become extreme or hurtful and yet helps me get my own needs met. My family of origin provided an environment where expressing frustration or negative emotion was frowned upon. I see my tendency to want to change external circumstances and situations to find a clean slate that does not have these built-up resentments and difficulties. But while appealing in the short term, the new seems to only provide a playing field in which my stuck patterns play out anyway. I now sell software in the trucking industry which is pretty in-your-face! The lesson seems to be that I have to tell the truth in the moment even if it’s hard or risky. How would you advise me to best learn this? ~Jonathan, USA

ANSWER: The teachings and patterns from your youth were formed into steadfast belief systems that have a firm hold on your thought process. Even when you would prefer to act differently, they step in and dictate your actions. To get rid of them permanently you must confront them, erase them from your unconscious, and replace them with your desired behavior.

Humans don’t want to have to constantly go over the options for reacting in each incident in their life, so they have formed belief systems of how things should always be handled. These came from outside of you—from parents, teachers, society, anyone you felt was an authority in the right way to respond to things, or the way that would cause you the least amount of criticism. These rules reside in your unconscious mind so that they can be implemented automatically without having to invest any of your thoughts or time. Problems occur when you let them have control of you, and after a while, you find your actions are in conflict with your current beliefs and desires.

Just thinking about wanting to do something different is insufficient to change things. Like a weird phrase in a computer program, until the old pattern is removed, it keeps popping up and causing trouble. The soul’s journey is based upon freedom of choice; unfortunately, that is easier said than done. You have to know what your choices are before you can choose.

In your current occupation you are presented with many helpful inroads. When you stand up and put the subterfuge aside, you have to tell it like it is, even if it is potentially frustrating or negative, or may cause you disappointment. These feelings, by the way, will only affect you if you allow them to. They make you feel bad only if you accept some form of guilt for their appearance. If you see the situation as an ordinary transaction in life where not everyone is going to be happy, life will be satisfying because you are not frustrated or disappointed.

Pleasing yourself, and allowing yourself to speak your truth, no matter what it is, will start to release the hidden automatic responses. When you find a combination of actions that make you feel comfortable, thank the old patterns, erase them, and place the desired steps in their place. It will take a while to change what you don’t want, but life will be much more pleasant in return.

What are we missing?

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

QUESTION: Masters, I watch news and documentaries and often feel sick and upset at the exploitations by governments and global companies. A firewall has been placed around information to European countries and the USA so many people are ignorant of the suffering. Your books and views show that ALL is about ‘perpetrator/victim’ so each can experience life lessons. I really do get this but – surely there is another element you have not spoken of or explained in this scenario? It is impossible to ignore these images of torment and pain as a human being. This is a most beautiful world but a world increasingly difficult to live in. The Leaders, Presidents, Prime Ministers, with big businesses perpetuate wars, and although they too have agreed to their lessons of experience, they are most certainly not suffering for their actions! It is impossible not to care and think each person has agreed to their set of circumstances, and that is that!!! What are we missing? ~George, UK

ANSWER: You say that you understand about choosing life lessons before you come down here, yet you are more concerned about the lessons others have chosen than monitoring and understanding your own lessons. The journey of the soul is an individual trip. You cannot affect other people unless it fits into their plans. You have a very strong judgment complex in place. You judge what is happening to those around you and decide what it is they really want. No one can ever know the feelings of another.

One of your lessons is to realize that judgment is the tool of the ego. The spirit/soul does not judge. It does not “decide” what others should want or do. It observes and makes a determination whether it wishes to also experience what it sees others doing. That is called evaluating, which is the tool of the soul.

If you cannot watch what others have chosen to do without trying to decide how and where they have gone wrong, then stop watching the things over which you have no control. The world is difficult to live in only if you choose negative things to include in the reality that is your world.

We would ask you: who is it that you care about? You are not inside anyone else’s physical form, so you do not know if they are suffering. Many leaders do feel anguish for their subjects but don’t see how to change things. What you are missing is the fact that people have to make their own choices; you can’t step in and decide for them. Things are rarely as they appear to be. Live your own life, understanding your lessons and the reaction you have to what is occurring on the planet. That is part of your choices.

Will he change?

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

QUESTION: Masters, I am at a crossroad. My husband fancies other women and acts on his impulses to the extent of seriously hurting me emotionally, and the kids are exposed to the aftermath violence. He is like a child who cannot resist the candy. I have asked him to change and heal but he is not taking big clear steps to heal. He says he loves the family and all and he has got a problem. I have already given him 2 chances before. Do I stay and help him and try again or pack up and leave? I have 3 very young children. Will he commit adultery again because it torments me so much? Is he sincere about changing? ~Sheila, Singapore

ANSWER: Will he do it again? Yes. Is he serious about changing? No. In his own way he loves you and the children, but marriage is too restrictive for him. He wants to be able to go out and do whatever he feels like doing regardless of whom it hurts or previous promises he has made. He has convinced himself that he was deprived while he grew up, and now that he makes the decisions he is going to do as he wishes.

You are being used by your husband to provide a safe place he may return to when he is tired or things aren’t going the way he wants. Since you have given in to him twice before, he thinks you are weak and will always let him continue his wanderings. Nothing is right or wrong in life; they are all just lessons. Your lesson is to decide how you want to be treated.

The choice for the future is completely up to you alone. You have to decide what you are willing to put up with. Don’t be concerned about what other people say or do; this is your life. The children are aware of the tension in the house and are sometimes afraid of the arguing. How you allow yourself to be treated is giving them guidance for their own adult behavior. What message do you want to teach them?

This part of your life is about honoring yourself: accepting that you are just as important as your husband; knowing that you deserve to be loved and honored and not thought of as a last resort or a fall-back spouse who will always be there. Take the initiative to create a world that matters to you.