Archive for June 9th, 2010

When to let go

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, I have 4 children, 3 of whom have been diagnosed as autistic.  I chose to put my own personal gratifications on the side, to be a single, stay-at-home mom. I educated them to give them a better chance to succeed with a life full of joy, happiness—a meaningful life. Now they are 18-, 19-, and 20-year-olds. I don’t know if I should move from here, get them into college, or what to do to help them more. I am fiercely protective of them, while their father still acts like a 13-year-old and thinks of only himself. I also find myself wishing my rich father would care enough to give us a helping hand.  I am full of talents but am scared to invest into my passions for fear it will take me away from my children’s needs. How can I best help us ?  ~Dina, Canada

ANSWER: You have done a fantastic job with your children but it is time for them to fly on their own. You have prepared them well and they need to test their wings. To have a meaningful life they need to be able to take care of themselves and exercise their own freedom of choice. If more education is what they seek, help them get started—but then leave them alone.

As protective as you have been, your children are rather naïve about society. They will never be able to take care of their own needs unless they have experience. They can get that experience only on their own. Not all of them will seek to get more education. For those not wanting school, help them prepare for employment. You will not be able to do the job interviews for them, so work through a mockup of an interview.

Their father is never going to change. He will always be totally self-centered. Now, think how much you have involved your father in the children’s upbringing. He is not becoming involved because he feels cut off from them due to your over-protectiveness. Let him get to know them now that they are adults, and solicit his advice on their life from here on out. He has some good ideas.

It is now time to start honoring yourself. Let the kids stand on their own two feet and follow some of your passions—it is never too late.

Getting stuck in the familiar

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, I have finally managed to cut all ties with a man with whom I had an emotionally destructive relationship for 4 years. I’ve tried breaking off the relationship before but never managed to follow through as my feelings for him kept me hoping that circumstances would change.  This time I feel more confident that it is finally over. I am much stronger, but I still experience this longing in my heart for him. My problem is that it feels as if my heart is closed to any other, and that my feelings for him are standing in my way of finding true love again. Do you have any suggestions how I can open up my heart to others again? I’ve been seeing someone else on and off for a while now, and I sense that he is just as hurt as I am and that we are a comfort for each other. I just don’t want my feelings for the other man to stand in the way, should something more develop between me and the man I am seeing.  ~Nina, South Africa

ANSWER: You are in a washing machine of emotions, sloshing around between your dreamed-for relationship,  an emotionally destructive one, and a totally dysfunctional one. You are stuck in the familiar feelings of being with a man regardless of how he is treating you or whether you get anything out of the union because you fear being alone.

It is time to decide exactly what it is that you want. Do you want any man as long as he satisfies your physical needs, at least part of the time? Do you want a man who cries on your shoulder, as you cry on his, comparing emotional horror stories? Or are you ready to have a fulfilling relationship where you share yourself with someone who is not playing games and wants to share himself with you? Or do you maybe need some time alone to access your feelings and work through the lessons you have been experiencing? You have total freedom of choice.

The whole equation begins with how you feel about yourself and what you think you deserve. You have trouble loving yourself so you don’t think a man should love you without strings attached—such as emotional abuse or control issues. Ask why you have these worthiness issues. It is one of your life lessons. Understand that you are as worthy as any other soul in the universe and you have learned that lesson so that you may move on.

Bring self-love into your life. You are a marvelous soul and deserve the very best—settle for nothing less. Allow into your life only men who are balanced in their emotional life and want to share with a woman, not control her. You cling to the past because there was some satisfaction in it. Choose whether that is what you want in the future or not. If it is not, then cut loose of the attachment (the need to have the familiar around even when it is destructive) and begin fresh.

Does hidden trauma = fat?

Wednesday, June 9th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, twice now in my life I have come across channeled information that says that belly fat actually “muddies” the etheric/astral body in that area. This material said that until we are willing to feel what’s there, the fat will not go away. Please elaborate on the “mechanics” of that setup. I’ve gotten better and better over the years at facing/feeling what comes up; the fat on my body says otherwise. Also, if one doesn’t know they are holding certain feelings, (such as a grief experience over a stillborn brother from 42 yrs ago, which I experienced at a workshop this summer), how can you clear such?  As my belly has only grown larger over the years (I’m 60) I assume lots must be in there. It all feels like past-life stuff. So what gives?  ~Margaret Frances, USA

ANSWER: Belly fat or any fat within the physical shell (skin) is in the physical body, and the etheric/astral body is part of the non-physical self. While it is true that past-life events and lessons that were not cleared and are held in the etheric or astral body may have an impact on the physical body, there is not an absolute correlation between body fat and underlying hidden issues. A body condition does not impact a non-physical problem.

One way to hold on to the fat is to believe that there is a correlation between unrealized problems and girth. If you made a contract before coming to Earth to have weight as a guidepost for you to determine your progress through your lessons, then it would work in that way. You could also have convinced yourself there is a connection between issues unresolved and holding the energy of them in the form of fat. Other factors come into play. Eating is a comfort activity for humans, and fat is seen as a protection from many negativities. Past lives involving starvation or gluttony may be impacting your impression of yourself unconsciously.

Have you grasped the idea yet that we are not going to directly answer why you are holding on to this weight? Well we aren’t, because it is wrapped around several life lessons which you have not gone into nor resolved as of yet. Ask yourself what fears and doubts about your life keeping cropping up. These are maps directing you to your answer for the weight—but never believe it has to stay there throughout this entire life. When you are ready to release the need for it, then it will go.