Archive for February 5th, 2013

A matter of interpretation

Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

QUESTION: Masters, this is a question that many on this earth plane are dealing with currently. I am a 61 yr old woman working a 40 hr a week job, taking care of an elderly parent with dementia and running a household. I have recently become a grandmother (YEA!) How do we, those taking care of aging parents, families and jobs find time to do our lightwork? I have looked forward to these crone years hoping to spend more time on spirituality and assisting others in these transitional times. ~Deborah, US

ANSWER: What a blessed life! It may seem all work and no play but your presence in the world touches scores of people. Who said that lightwork has to be solitary or distinct from your everyday existence? You are doing spiritual work in the way you handle all the jobs you have chosen to bring into your life; and, yes, you did choose this combination of things.

Sit back, and with each task you perform, take a moment to go inside and see how it is fulfilling an aspect of learning about yourself and others, and digging into the basis of feelings. As each event comes up, you are choosing to see the positive side mostly and shunning the negative. That is the spiritual pathway leading to understanding and enlightenment. You exercise your freedom of choice all the time to assist those around you, learning with each choice you make.

This may not be the anticipated situation for this period that you envisioned, but feel the love and joy that is this time in your life. We frequently talk about the danger of expectations. They limit your vision to just one possible outcome or destination. If, instead of seeing only one possibility, you experience the moment, live in the now, the world is beautiful—brighter in all its prospects.

You make of the situation what your decisions allow. You may shun the negative and embrace the positive, rising out of judgment and seeing in terms of evaluation. Each step you are taking is answering the question that all souls came to Earth to learn: who am I really?

You are soon to find that being a grandmother is a very special spiritual role. Encourage your grandchild to bring feelings out into the world. Teach the little one that freedom of choice can be a roadmap to the future. You have trodden the path and can now be a tour guide. If you want solitude sometime in the future, there is still plenty of time.

Accepting my training

Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

QUESTION: Masters, I have never been good enough for my mother. She keeps criticizing me; I have the wrong man, we may not have a new car, etc. She is not happy when my kids get along. She doesn’t remember our birthdays. She never gives gifts to us. She tries to diminish me and make me feel guilty. But my brother, he is excellent. She has never denied anything for him. Their deals are top secret though other people’s confidential businesses doesn´t stop her gossiping. I am used to making myself responsible for everything that goes wrong. This may result from what happened in my childhood. My father didn´t get angry in spite of my mother constantly provoking him. Until she had an idea – she began to yell at me! And she got what she wanted. My mother considered this quite amusing. How much can she affect our life? ~Saga, Finland

ANSWER: Basic and simple answer: your mother can affect your life only to the extent and degree you allow her to do so. You have been programmed by her to react to everything she does to get a response from you. This she sees as entertaining. Just as she had to find her husband’s soft spot, she has trained you to react to everything she says and does because you have not discovered that you do not have to let her dictate your behavior.

So what if she doesn’t like the way you live your life? Are you content with your life? Who is in a better position to see what is going on in your family, you or her? You, of course—it is your life. Why are you letting her tell you how you should feel about your own existence? That is saying she knows better than you what is right in what you do. Does that make any sense to you? Take back control of your life.

It is going to be hard to cut the value of her ideas out of your thoughts because they have reigned there all your life. You have no spiritual obligation to her to let her keep you from exercising your freedom to choose your own opinions.

Stop competing with your brother for her attention and approval—you are never going to get it. This is another of her little games. Choose not to give her power over you and your family. She loves fear and negativity. Choose love and positive thoughts and actions.

Distance yourself from her for a while to see that you can live life without her. Observe how other families determine their own rules, separate from the way they were programmed by their parents. You are not responsible for everything that goes wrong; you have just accepted the role of fall guy because that is what your mother wants. Start defining a new you.

Whose lesson is it?

Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

QUESTION: Masters, my son is a very angry young man. He is resentful of anything we do for him and nasty in the extreme when we show kindness or concern. He takes every word literally and if I can’t recall a conversation verbatim, he becomes verbally abusive. He is saving money to move out of our home which I think is a good thing. I worry that he may be depressed or suicidal and I’m at a loss how to reach out to him. I am very confused. What are the lessons here for all of us? ~Claire, Canada

ANSWER: Lesson number one: how does it feel to be a puppet? Lesson number two: you can never make people do anything they do not want to do. Lesson number three: you have total freedom of choice to create an environment for yourself. Lesson number four: others may join your world but only if they choose.

You have allowed a monster to arise in your house. You have always thought that having gentle, kind, and giving parents meant your son would reciprocate. He has chosen to take advantage of your kindness to see how to control the situation to his benefit. He is very immature and shuns responsibility for his actions. At this point in time nothing you do will change him. He needs to go out into the world and deal with non-compliant peers.

You love him so much that you follow him around like puppies to take care of his every need. While he is still in your home, start ignoring him whenever he becomes insensitive in his behavior. You do not have to allow abuse to continue. He is not suicidal or depressed, just self-indulgent. He will get bored with his games when he no longer gets immediate reactions from you.

He needs to be in a situation where he is totally in control of his own life. He needs to move out, but if you encourage it too much he will hesitate because that appears to be what you want and he does not do anything you want. Be stand-offish. He is angry because he doesn’t know what he wants and that frightens him. No one can bring that answer to him; he needs to go in search of it himself.

Just love him from afar until he gets his priorities straightened out. Send him love through the universe to help him find his way.