Archive for April 7th, 2010

Torment of others

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, I live in a small, close-knit community and am continually being slandered by a man who also lives here and thinks I owe him money. I am trying so hard to rise above the situation and not care that bad things are being said about me. I know it’s his pain and fear that make him act this way, but it is so difficult to stay detached when I know what’s being said and know that at least some of the people around me must believe badly of me. What do I do to not care?  ~Roz, South Africa

ANSWER: Having your future or your reputation based upon the negativity of another person is a very difficult situation indeed. It is impossible to influence the thoughts and beliefs of others unless they consent to changing their basic way of thinking. This works two ways. Your tormentor will not change his constant assault on you unless he decides, on his own, to relent. At the same time, inhabitants of your community will not be easily influenced by his doings because he has a reputation for being a small-minded, negative individual. He always has someone about whom he has a complaint, and soon he will switch his vehemence to another.

In the meantime, you can easily see the effect this lesson is having upon you. Your lesson is allowing others to have power over the way you feel about yourself. If you loved yourself sufficiently, it would not matter to you what others thought or said about you, because you would know that is not the person you aspire to be. When you rely upon others to determine what you feel about yourself, you are saying they know more about you than you do.

Take responsibility for your own life and the way you choose to live it. Don’t worry about the thoughts of others or the attempts of those who seek to control your life. Thank this unhappy, fearful person for permitting you a glimpse of your own fears. You have no need to worry about what is being said, because it cannot hurt you unless you allow it to do so.

Out of the control loop

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

QUESTION: My estranged best friend has changed a lot over the last few years. She is in a long-distance relationship with someone she has never met. On her 21st birthday, we reconnected and celebrated with drinks. Her boyfriend has now separated us, just as we were getting reacquainted, and I am heartbroken. The situation was a severe misunderstanding, and she believed him without asking me for my side of the story. Will we ever be friends again? Will she be safe with this boyfriend who seems to be a controller clear across from the other side of the country? How can I move on and get over the hurt?   ~Margaret, USA

ANSWER: Your friend is spending a lot of time on lessons of control, self-worth, and self-image. She is totally unaware of what she feels or thinks about things and relies completely on the word of others for her interpretation. She is desperately seeking love, and her current sense of love is coming from this phantom she has never met. It is easier for her to give him total say over her life because she has made up her own reality around his communications—it has become her existence.

This man is a manipulator and controller. He sees her as a pet who can be made to do anything he asks of her. Your friend is running from the physical reality of her life, a life which she finds unfulfilling and boring. Because she has never met this man, she can see him, in her imagination, as a savior, a knight in shining armor. To her he is the guide she always sought. She has never been able to satisfy herself, so she thinks he will make all her decisions and everything will become as in her desired fairyland.

At this time she will do anything he asks for fear of losing him if she doesn’t. She has to realize that this is not living, that she has to take responsibility for her own future and exercise her freedom of choice. The choices are now up to her. There are too many variables out there for us to see what she will decide. Send hopeful intentions to your friend so that she might see what is happening and break the spell he has her under.

You must realize that this is just another lesson that she sought to have during this lifetime. It has nothing to do with any intentional desire to hurt you. Reach inside to the love of your soul and the unconditional love that all carry within. Refresh yourself there and then venture forth into new experiences with a knowing love that you are doing what you came here to do, and the hope that she too will reach that awareness.

Cut off from spirit

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

QUESTION: Masters, a couple of years back I was able to make some contact with spirit; it was only small but it was good all the same. I have since had a lot going on in my life, and that feeling that spirit is around me seems to be getting less and less intense. I have been told to meditate but never seem to find the right time or place to do it. I’m a great believer that everything happens for a reason. Do you think this is happening because I’m not supposed to do this anymore?   ~Steve, UK 30/y

ANSWER: You are a soul. You are a piece of Source that broke off to gain knowledge for all. One of the universal projects that all souls undertake is to find out who they truly are. They plan a number of things to experience in each lifetime on Earth. They don’t remember that when they start their life because they come to their body with amnesia of anything they have done before this life. A soul is never alone or disconnected from the whole universal energy composed of all the pieces of Source.

When you “made contact” you acknowledged that feeling of your true self. Once you have learned something it is impossible to forget it. If you do not use your knowledge its intensity will seem to diminish, but it still remains. Also, when you get used to something it is not always drawing your attention to itself. When people move near a railroad or under a flight path, they are constantly aware of the noise. But after they have been there for a while they don’t hear it as being so annoying. Has the sound diminished? No, they just got used to its being there.

Spirit is always with you; it is a part of your essence. Two things are happening here. First, you have become used to the uniqueness of the connection, and second, you don’t have a real need to feel that connection right now. You may turn up the volume any time you are ready.