What should I do?

QUESTION: Masters, I wonder why I’m feeling so lost. I don’t know if I give up my marriage or if I try one more time, there are times I want but there is another than not. I don’t know if I continue my life in a country that isn’t mine, or if I should go back to mine. I am always undecided. What would be my best options? ~Anita, Ireland

ANSWER: You are feeling lost because you do not wish to make decisions for yourself. You don’t want to take the responsibility of deciding something that you might not like later. You always defer to what others say and tell you to do, and then you can blame them if you are not happy. It is time to put on your big girl panties and start taking charge of your life and choices.

You never stop and ask yourself how you “feel” about an action – it is always what do I “think” about this. That means taking all the opinions of others that are stored in your brain and reviewing them. Your own feelings are never engaged or even considered.

You do not think you have the ability to see what is needed. This life’s lessons do include working with self-confidence and self-doubt, but you ignore addressing them by relying upon others instead of considering alternatives for yourself. You are saying to those around you that they are more aware of what would be “good” for you than you are. They are not in your body so that is a ridiculous proposition. It is time to honor yourself and make those choices for yourself.

Nothing is intended to be permanent on Earth; it is just one large classroom for learning. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind or direction when you do not feel comfortable where you are. Does your marriage resonate with you? If not, it is time to try something else. Don’t feel comfortable in your current locale? Move on to something else.

Always know you have time to make these decisions. Nothing should be rushed. See how each alternative feels to you. Don’t feel you have an obligation to any particular path or person – because you don’t. You wouldn’t buy an expensive outfit without trying it on first, so remember that when making decisions.

Don’t attempt to do everything at once. Take each facet of your life and see how it fits. If it is still good for you, stay there. If it makes you uncomfortable, try on the other choices.