Finding peace

QUESTION: Masters I have tried my best to learn everyday good and be good. I have made mistakes. My parents have had their own journey and had a lot of negativity. Talking, discussing, is rare without anger. And asking for anything has not been something they are ok with at all. I had started standing up for myself but that only made things worse. Recently I did not and accepted whatever was said quietly. I attempted this because someone said they would ensure things did not get out of hand if I kept quiet and listened. They did not really take care or could not and I feel terrible and hurt. Not only upset with my parents but very let down by the person who I trusted but who just accepted horrible things being said to me. How do I change / what do I do, to find peace? ~Lr, India

ANSWER: To find peace you have to work on the life lessons that are causing all this: finding self-confidence and self-love, releasing guilt, and having faith in yourself and your decisions. Your parents are fearful that you will recognize that they are lost and not in control of their lives. They need to feel powerful, and they accomplish that by manipulating you and putting you down so they can feel superior.

Your would-be “savior” is also fearful of life and wanted to curry favor with your parents by offering you up as a sacrificial lamb, thinking everyone would learn from the experience. They truly believed in communication as the way to straighten out difficulties but had no idea how really horrible your situation had become.

Now the next step for you is to analyze why the things said to you had such an impact. Do you believe what was said was factual? You know in your heart that it was not, so why did it affect you so strongly? That had to do with your belief that you are causing some of the problems by your prior actions, that you have not been “good.”

This is ridiculous. You are believing that the demands of your parents are what make a good child. Rubbish. A lot of what they want has nothing to do with fulfilling your obligation as a good child. You frequently know exactly what makes sense in any situation, but when your parents say no, you acquiesce to their way of thinking. It’s time to start having confidence in your feelings.

Know what resonates with your soul. Develop more self-love for all the hard work you have put in during this life. Congratulate yourself for choosing such difficult lessons and moving through them. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should think or do. Have faith in the way you think things should be handled, and then carry them out.