Self-doubt
QUESTION: Masters, I am having an affair with a girl whom I met 5 months ago. We have been together for 3 months now. I was aware that she had a past relationship with a guy for close on 3 years and also aware that she is still in contact with him. She claims that she is his best friend and that she can’t stop talking to him completely. Although she has done a lot to show that she is with me I still have doubts in my mind whether or not I am a rebound for her. You are the masters and I’m sure you can read my mind and my present situation. Please could you tell me if I should walk out of this now and not risk getting hurt sometime later. I really love her but I can’t see her talking to him. ~Arjun, India
ANSWER: Your girlfriend is being absolutely true and faithful to you at this time. Do not force her away by the doubts that your fears place in front of you. You did come to her on a rebound of any sort. She and her former boyfriend thought they were in love but found their friendship was more platonic than romantic. They have the feelings of siblings and to deny her that friendship will alienate her. They have no romantic ideas for each other at all.
What is happening with you is a resurgence of fears from your youth. You frequently think that others are being unfaithful, conspiring against you, and making fun of you. All of these are indications of life lessons you chose for this lifetime, primarily self-worth issues.
To free yourself from these horrors it is imperative that you examine the picture you hold of yourself. Others can make you feel unworthy only if you allow them to by believing that what you are sensing is the truth. You are a magnificent soul that is as good as any other soul. Stop letting your insecurities see you as less than fantastic.
When you start doubting yourself ask what is at the root of the fear? What makes it so real to you? Do you believe it should have this effect upon you? If you do not accept its validity it cannot impact your thinking and therefore your life.
Take back your power. Allow only what you accept to be true to run your life. Tear apart anything that is negative to find out why it is around. If there is no basis for its existence then banish it from your life. If you find a connection between this negativity and something in your life, search until you resolve the negative aspect and free yourself of its effects.