Repeating the past

QUESTION: Masters, I have been divorced for almost 14 years. Second marriage of seven cohabiting and 16 years married, have one daughter, helped him throughout medical Interventional Cardiologist education and fellowships (with specialty in “mind playing games”). This is the sixth time going to “Contempt of Court for non and under payment of support obligation” and countless other times for related issues. I’m in late 60’s and financially depend on it. We had many lives together with him being envious, jealousy and resentful of our daughter and me, we took this lifetime the task to help him into spiritual progression. I am exhausted for going to courts. Will this be the last time? Will this be his turning point or are we doomed this whole lifetime with this suffering? ~Jane, USA

ANSWER: You have had a history of being the giver and letting others make all the decisions for you. Your ex sees you as easy to manipulate and does not expect you to stick up for yourself. He also is aware of the anxiety he generates by his actions and finds it to be fun.

Even though he is respected in his profession, he is a naïve, spoiled little boy when it comes to dealing with you and his daughter. You are correct that this is a series of interactions that have lasted many lifetimes. He is still fighting to “win” over you and the obligations that have been imposed on him. He is perfectly capable of fulfilling the Court’s dictates, but he would rather cause you angst. The Court is getting fed up with his antics and is about to come down on him with a threat of jail time if he doesn’t stop playing around.

Nothing is going to make him see the spiritual growth behind this battle. He sees everything through his ego. He has the possibility of seeing it as a life lesson, but that would remove his manipulation. He still perceives you as the one getting things for nothing and is jealous of the “ease” with which he feels you are able to accomplish things. He realizes he would not have made it through school and various residencies without your help, and that makes him resentful that he couldn’t do it alone.

Just keep bringing him back to his responsibility and some day he may step back and see what a jerk he has been – but don’t hold your breath.