Accepting hopelessness
QUESTION: Masters, I feel as if my whole life has been one long miserable, meaningless failure. I turned 52 today, have no wife, lover, children, friends or any prospects of any. I have been declared disabled due to Bipolar Mood Disorder. I am currently the single caregiver for my Mother who is almost immobile at 75. I rarely get out of the house and have basically become a recluse. Have I been cursed? Is this due to some past Life issue? Is this Karma? I do not know why I am still alive as there is no real My brothers and sister do not share any of the burdens. reason to live, but I understand that suicide is not an option. Is there anything to look forward to? Do you have any advice? ~Jacques, South Africa
ANSWER: Each soul has chosen a unique path for its lifetime. You are judging this life of yours against what you perceive as “normal” by what society says and what you have seen. There is no such thing as normal or what all should expect to happen to them—that includes, lovers, friends, family, and employment.
You chose a very difficult set of life lessons to learn before you arrived. Your greatest is accepting yourself in the face of your bipolar mood disorder. Many people judge those with this ailment as unworthy of getting any of their attention, which is one of the reasons you find it difficult to have friends. You have a tendency to hide behind your condition as an excuse instead of putting yourself out there and meeting new people.
You are not cursed. This is not a situation of bad karma coming to haunt you from a past life. You have decided that, rather than having to take responsibility for yourself to be comfortable in society, you accept that you have no hope to change. However, change is as close as making the decision to step out the door and find others with your same ailment, so you feel like one of the group.
Your mission is to find ways to deal with your doubts and fears about life. You have stated what they are, so all you have to do is figure out a solution to release the grip of their fear. Ask why you feel the way you do about the “lacks” in your life. Be quiet while your inner self gives you the answers. You will then have a direction if you choose to follow.
You control all the choices for the rest of your life. Don’t let anyone tell you what you are or how you have to handle things. Take a look at how well you have cared for your mother—a sometimes very complicated task—and know you can do what you set your mind on doing.