Time to wake up and stand firm

QUESTION: Masters, I have recently decided to leave my partnership in a company where the other partner does not know how to deal with money and he is very irresponsible in his attitudes. This person got loans in the bank using the company’s name and I was held responsible for the debts for being partner in the company. By leaving this partnership, I made an agreement with this person where I would leave the partnership and he would be responsible for the money debt. It’s been 3 months and until now this person did not do what we had agreed. I feel this person has always been and is still abusive towards me, and I have always allowed this situation. What lesson must I learn from this? Why it seems to me that constantly abusive people appear in my life? ~Cristiano, Brazil

ANSWER: Why would you think he was going to keep his word of assuming the debt if he had been manipulating you without ever having been chastised by you? You have been an easy target for people all your life. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by sticking up for yourself. If you don’t change, this will be a continuing pattern for the rest of your life. You can only be a victim if you allow yourself to be the subject of abuse.

It is almost as if you have been advertising to the world that you are there to be taken advantage of, and will gladly be their punching bag. Abuse is a life lesson but it doesn’t have to continue. Wake up. You are just as good as everyone else and deserve to be treated as you treat others. Start feeling what you desire, and then tell others how you want things to be done. Don’t let people push you around. Take responsibility for your own actions—that includes when you sit back and allow others to make all the decisions.

In your present situation your ex-partner will only do what he is forced to do. Write up a contract of his promises and get him to sign it with witnesses. He will find a number of reasons not to sign the papers and you may have to get an attorney to make him responsible for the debt he incurred for your partnership.