The past is not the present

QUESTION: Masters, many therapists tell me that I need to forget the past to be happy in love, but I honestly do not know what the past speaks of. I’ve done countless therapies to get rid of this past but, by the way, without success. There is nothing and no one I miss, I do not see that I have unresolved loves. I always do exercises of self-love and feel that I am evolving because I feel loved by myself, I like everything in me. I would just like to meet someone compatible with my lifestyle. Please, what is the past that I must set free? ~Ella, Brasil

ANSWER: The secret past of which they speak is what has created your interpretation of your identity at this time. This is mainly composed of expectations to which you cling because you have determined that these are the ultimate characteristics you feel you will accept in a mate.

To resolve your issues, you must examine this person who has garnered your love. Is it someone you aspire to be? Or is it just an acceptance of the person your soul inhabits? A part of that person right now is judgmental and demanding. They are firm in their belief that everything they believe in is the only thing that will be acceptable and that there is no room for compromise or sharing.

These strong feelings come from the past, the near and the far. They are ideals contributed by this life from your observations, and by past lives from unfinished lessons. They don’t all deal with romance and love but rather control, betrayal, and unfulfilled desires.

The solution to your future is living every minute in the present, with absolutely no preconceived opinions about men who enter your world. You can’t know whether a pair of shoes will be comfortable until you try them on, so don’t pre-judge compatibility until you spend time with someone. And then be open and don’t limit their connectivity by your judgment of what you think they are going to say or do. Give everyone a clean slate to fill in on their own.