Control dramas abound

QUESTION: Masters, I started a job just over 3 months ago and I have a colleague who was transferred from another branch. I have been told that she is conditioned from her previous job to be negative. I am a little worried that I am not able to help her understand that she needs to trust in us, that not everyone is out to get her. Why is my boss always berating me in front of others? He seems so angry with me. I know he has humility problems, but I believe in my heart that he is a good soul. How can I be more understanding towards him and, importantly, not get affected by him? On a personal note, I broke up with my boyfriend about a year and a half ago. Why was I so angry for the whole year? I thought he really questioned my spiritualism, and obviously, I must have failed miserably. Hope you can enlighten me.                 ~Alice, Singapore

ANSWER: There are a lot of lessons simultaneously playing out in your life. Overriding all of them is your own understanding of using your power and freedom of choice. You are overly sensitive to the emotions of other people because you do not understand your own emotions.

Don’t criticize yourself for the way you reacted after your boyfriend left. Being spiritual does not mean you have all the answers to things to make your life run smoothly. It only means that when something is bothering you, it is possible to recognize a life-lesson rather than finding a fault to be corrected. Relax and observe. Your year-long anxiety resulted from reliving confrontations and constantly going back over conversations to see if you could have done something differently. The past is gone. The future hasn’t occurred yet. Live in the now as you play your part in this timeframe. Feel the way your soul responds to the events in which you partake. Choose to continue holding on to the feelings if you don’t understand them, or learn what they mean and move on.

You try to control things around you so you can feel others are learning as well as you are. Let people experience their own journeys. Your colleague and your boss won’t bother you if you accept they have things to learn. They can affect the way you feel about yourself only if you accept what they say as true. Take those derogatory things that are said to you and ask: how do I feel about that? If you know it comes from a soul who is striking out to hold on to control, just let it go. When you don’t react, they will get tired and move on. If you acknowledge what you feel is a truth in their statements, then find out how you can change yourself to be more acceptable to you. You are the only one who should be important in the way you feel about yourself.