Not engaged in life

QUESTION: Masters, I’ve contemplated suicide many times. I cry daily. I’m mostly sad and just want this life to end. I keep getting injured. Have no confidence or self-love. I am angry, though I admire my artistic qualities; I can’t get myself to actually go through with them. Am I actually learning what I came to learn? A., US

ANSWER: You are completely aware of the lessons you came to deal with, but you are doing nothing to learn or understand them. Your lessons appear to you as fear and doubts, which you run away from or ignore. Daily feelings are a choice one makes. You can be sad and despondent or happy and productive – the choice is yours.

You are always getting injured because you are walking through life in a fog. You are never aware of things around you and crash into them. You spend so much time lost in your negative thoughts of unhappiness and depression that you see nothing around you. To change this, it will take work on your part.

All souls create the reality in which they live. It may be negative and destructive or positive and thriving. Negativity is easy to deal with because it is everywhere. It is the default setting in the duality of Earth. Positive energy also abounds, but you have to take the time to see the negativity and make the choice to replace it with positivity.

You have a perfect way to deal with all the negativity and lack of hope in your life by choosing to concentrate on your artistic abilities. Your overall negative demeanor prevents you from believing enough in yourself to think you can develop them. All you have to do is take that first step into using your talent to change your life.

When you arise each day, look at the world around you. Get an impression of what is happening. Describe for yourself what the day appears to be bringing into your world. If anything is negative – such as a feeling of overwhelm or sadness, or that the weather is terrible – immediately change that concept in your head.

Know that you can face the day one element at a time. Think of the happiest event you have experienced and bring that energy into your body. If it is raining, think how it will make the flowers grow and clear the smog from the air. Then, and only then, begin your day in this positive energy. Each change to positivity will reduce the negative failure feelings within you. Go make it happen!