Controlling the energy you project
QUESTION: Masters, I am generally a happy person but go off at people and situations. I have been argumentative and angry at people for the past few years. I know I am damaging myself with this anger but would like to understand what this anger is all about and what I can do to become more peaceful and less angry. ~Dianne, Australia QUESTION: Masters, I find it very difficult to connect with people, they often don’t see me as friendly and I have no real friends. As much as I would love to (I really admire people who have a lot of friends and deal with social interaction easily) I seem to be unable to make people like me and develop a friendly relationship with them. It’s all very distant and formal. How could I change this situation? ~Mariana, Brazil
ANSWER: You are what you project, think, say, and present to others. They assess your personality and whether they want to have anything to do with you based upon the energy you push at them; hostility or aloofness results in their running the other way and not wanting to have anything to do with you. Unconsciously you are judging what you believe the other people think of you and responding before you realize what you are doing.
The first thing you both need to do is an internal evaluation of what you think about yourself. Arguments and anger arise due to frustration that things are not going as you want them to. You get jealous that others have it the way you want but it doesn’t seem to come to you. You are constantly fighting within yourself to be something you are not presently. You have to work on what you think about yourself so you may project to others the energy you want in return.
Anger and loneliness, feelings of unworthiness, or fear of interacting with others when you don’t know what they want all send danger signals. When you see a red flag, you avoid the area and person for fear of harm. When you see people fleeing from you, it creates even more unhappiness and anger that they just will not take the time to get to know you.
The change must occur within you. You have to love yourself enough to think, feel, and act as you want others to do toward you. Do not judge the behavior of others; accept it as an example of who they are. You do not have to be with those who make you feel uncomfortable. Pull people to you who have the same desires as you do. It is judgment that creates the angers and sense of not fitting in to a group. Change your feelings about yourself; others will come to a calm, loving, willing-to-share person in order to feel as that person does. Become those feelings by choice.