Needing to control others

Q. Masters, no matter what I seem to do I cannot get my spouse to give up his drinking and smoking. It is very disruptive to our family life. What can I do to convince him that this destructive behavior must cease?

A. Dear long-suffering wife, it’s time that you admitted to yourself that from the very beginning you overlooked your husband’s destructive tendencies because you were confident that you could get him to change his ways. As we have been teaching throughout all our messages, every soul has complete freedom to choose how they live their incarnation. In order for your husband to amend what you consider his wayward ways, he must choose to make the changes.

You are attempting to control the life of another, and control can only be exercised with his consent. From the very beginning of your relationship, your husband was never deceitful with you. You were aware of his partying lifestyle and were right there with him at the start.

We commend you for now realizing that numbing your senses doesn’t allow you to go inside and connect with your inner self. This change in your approach to life allows you to grow consistently in awareness and wisdom. You have bypassed your husband’s energy level. It is now up to you to make decisions based upon the fact that you cannot force him to change his behavior.

You can choose to remain in the situation and to occupy yourself with concern for him, or you may see that—in order for you to progress further along your life’s pathway—you must cut loose from the desire to control another. The choice is up to you. Remember, nothing is right or wrong; everything is just a lesson that you chose to experience.