Leaving a marriage
QUESTION: Masters, my insides have been feeling for years like I should leave my marriage. It seems like the time is now, although logistically I have to question why it seems like now is the time. I have not worked outside the home for 20 years, still have children at home, and just don’t know how I’ll make it, especially in such a bad economy. I also feel the weight of hurting and disappointing so many others should I leave the marriage.
ANSWER: Your intuitive sense of self has been getting stronger and stronger. This has been fueled by a change in the way you are looking at your life. In the beginning of your marriage you became the dutiful little woman who accepted that your position in life was to be at home taking care of the children and insuring that hubby was clothed, fed, and bedded. You never had any thoughts that ran contrary to the way you had been raised and trained by family and friends.
Throughout your years together, you have begun to question your position. You have repeatedly asked the questions “Why is he more important than I?” and “Why does he get to set all the rules?” You have finally realized that your essence is the same as his. You are as worthy as he; you are as powerful as he-that is, if you assume the power to take your rightful place.
You have been ceding your personal power to him and it is time to take it back. The children are very aware of the friction that has been growing in the house. They have watched the way you have been treated, and that you have not done anything about it. They know all is not comfortable for you and, in time, they will support any action that you take.
Your concern for the thoughts of others shows how much your personal belief systems are structured by everyone but yourself. You concern yourself with the expectations of others concerning your behavior but have no expectations yourself. Does that seem fair? Are they living your life or playing a part written by others? Do those who would be disappointed have to put up with living in your limbo?
We have repeatedly counseled that you have complete freedom of choice and nothing is right or wrong. All human life is lived to experience lessons to obtain knowledge and wisdom-both the human good and bad. Do not fear the unknown. If you put all of your power into creating a new world, even in these trying times, you will be able to accomplish your dreams.