What was I thinking?
QUESTION: Masters why did I choose my parents and my brother and sister as my family? I find it extremely difficult to get along with them due to different values. They have created a very toxic environment for me. I am thinking of minimizing contact with my parents, but I feel that it is very unfilial of me to do so because my parents try their best to raise me despite being given bad advice. But if I don’t minimize contact, I am exposing my child to a toxic environment. ~Tired of Fighting, Singapore
ANSWER: You wanted to see if you could examine the possibilities available to you and decide for yourself how you wished to live your life. Before you became aware of enlightenment – going from ego judgment into unconditionally loving energy – you were more in line with your family. When you started accepting the feelings you were getting from the way people reacted to you and made demands of you, it was time to make choices.
Until you started realizing you had choices, possibilities you didn’t even previously know existed, you had no choice but to do what you were directed to do by others. Choices are now available that would either comply with or be diametrically opposed to your family’s beliefs.
You have freedom to choose either, neither, or a different direction entirely. One of your chosen lessons was to see if you could develop self-love and self-confidence in your own path. By following others for whatever reason, familial or societal, you are giving up your power and identity to them. A soul’s journey is a solo affair. You cannot live anyone else’s life or make worthwhile decisions for them. You do not grow unless you assume responsibility for your actions.
To progress, you must make each decision because it feels right to you, not because you believe someone else wishes it. Your parents did what they thought was the right thing to do since they followed the beliefs of the society around them. They feel strongly that everything must be rated, graded, and judged to establish its worth in the world.
From the spiritual perspective, you owe them nothing. You can still love the fact that they are being faithful to their beliefs, even though you feel they are not the right principles for you to follow. Be yourself. Do what you feel is the correct thing for your daughter’s future. You have no obligation to any other.