Changing circumstances

QUESTION: Masters Please can you give me some guidance. Me and my husband are pretty sure he has Asperger’s. We are waiting a diagnosis. It makes sense to us now why he acts and thinks the way he does. It has caused me a lot of heartache and upset, and I now realize why I have depression and fibromyalgia. It’s a continuous battle with someone who has a different view on the world. I am always in some kind of stress mode dealing with it. Was this a pre-planned lesson? Was it a mutual plan to help each other or was it of my own making for my own benefit of learning? Is my husband being 100% honest and upfront with me about trying his best to get help and change? Can I deal with this in a better way? Or, is it time for me to move on? ~Jo, United Kingdom

ANSWER: Your lessons do include self-confidence and self-love using stress and stressors to set up most of your learning experiences. You are very empathic and take in the energy given off by those around you. You are an innate caregiver and persist in taking care of others even to your detriment. You are still trying to maintain the same degree of love for your husband that you had when you first fell for him.

No soul ever remains the same during their lifetime. You have grown apart from your husband through the choices each of you have made. It is time to start taking care of yourself and doing what you want to do and not what you feel you have to do.

Your husband enjoys negativity and getting responses out of those around him. He does not really dislike his current thought processes and isn’t doing much to evaluate and change his behavior. He is definitely not being truthful to you about his feelings and any attempts he is making to change himself because he is not unhappy with his current state.

His cavalier attitude is a major stressor for you and triggers mental and physical reactions that are harming your health. You have the freedom of choice to decide to remove yourself from this situation and find an environment where you can heal.

You have done everything you can to get him to understand what his actions are doing to you, but he just doesn’t really care. It is time to start honoring yourself and deciding how you want to live. In the spiritual sense nothing is right or wrong. Staying or leaving will both allow you to learn, but choosing another setting will allow you to get control of your emotions.