Understanding connections

QUESTION: Masters almost every friendship I have had, I have had to let go of and end for one reason or another. I have been taken for granted, or treated negatively, or had not been valued as much as I valued them. Why? ~M, USA

ANSWER: You are placing your trust in the ego judgment values of society and not examining the spiritual reasons for why your life is playing out as it is. All the “difficulties” you perceive as resulting from the actions of others are actually the result of life lessons you chose to appear in your life.

Your biggest, most powerful lesson deals with depending on expectations you have created concerning the behavior of others. It is impossible to get another to act exactly as you wish if they do not want to do so. You look only at your opinion of a situation and never how it might appear to another.

Lessons of betrayal, abandonment, dealing with lies, and not being able to evaluate the intentions of other people are all lessons you are living. You have not learned enough about any of these to be finished with its repeated appearance in your life. You take everything personally, even when the other person does not intend or direct that it apply to you.

Because you are constantly judging the actions of others according to the way you expect that they should treat you, when they don’t do exactly as you expect, you are further hurt and pull away. If you were to go back to the numerous betrayals you have suffered and take the place of the other party, you would see that they were being true to themselves and not your expectations.

You have created a victim role for yourself. Even the judgment of “value” you are so concerned about is meaningless when both sides are considered. Your actions have forced people to move away because they do not want to behave as you demand.

Start looking at situations with an open mind. Don’t pre-judge what another’s reaction to your encounter with them should look like. And be honest with yourself. Don’t do something because you think it is what the other person wants you to do. If you follow these suggestions, you will find that people will stop running away from your intensity.