Mom, daughter, and boyfriend
QUESTION: Masters, please help me to understand what’s the matter with me, my daughter, and her old boyfriend. She leaves him, he was suffering a lot, he is like a son to me. I suffer with him a lot, today my daughter has another person, I don’t like and I feel inside me all the time a pain. My energy is low, my mind always thinks about him. I wait that one day my daughter will be with him again. Is it possible? It is a permanent suffering for me, many times I think I lost my mind. Please explain to me this trilogy, grateful ~Maria, Portugal
ANSWER: It is impossible for one person to lead the life of another. You are trying to dictate to your daughter what she should do because of your attachment to the ex-boyfriend. You cannot make her like him; in fact, your insistence that she like him has caused her to rebel against your desires and run away from you.
The ex-boyfriend is a soul mate of yours with whom you have shared a number of lives. In his presence you feel the pleasure of past lives. He is with you in this life for you to understand more about trying to control the life of another. You associate the feeling of love more with him than with your daughter, and it is time for you to examine these feelings.
You have trouble loving yourself; you sense that love is only something that comes from outside. You will not have low energy or be in pain if you connect with the love inside and use it to see what is happening in your life. You have to stop worrying about others and start working on yourself.
What happens between your daughter and the ex is completely up to them. Stop fixating on them. Begin to create the life that you seek. Make your plans without the two of them. When you can clearly see a time without either of them, you are focusing on yourself.
Always thinking about him is like an obsession with a movie star or politician whom you may never even meet. It is time to become realistic. Your daughter has someone she is happy with at this time. Try to see him for the person he is, not just as a reflection of who you want him to be.