Determining values
QUESTION: Masters, I am a very family orientated person and have done everything in my power to raise my children with values. It appears now that those same values are working against my children. Their openness and trusting nature has brought them pain rather than joy. There is definitely a message here and I am unable to understand this. Who is this lesson for: myself or my children? What is the lesson? ~Geetu, United Kingdom
ANSWER: You have created for your children a set of belief systems. This is what you call your values. These principles may work for you in the situations you have faced, but may be inappropriate for your children. “Values” mean that a degree of right and wrongness about actions has been decided. Judgment is the law of the ego mind. Whenever ego is involved, there is a competition to see who is better than everyone else.
If you have taught your children to be trusting with all people, you have set them up for people to take advantage of them. In addition to trust, one must be able to “feel” the person’s sincerity and honesty. Blind trust can be dangerous. It is not wrong to teach them to want to trust all people, but they must learn to first evaluate if the person is trustworthy.
Openness is another characteristic that offers one’s vulnerability up to the unscrupulous. A person does not need to know everything about you and your business unless you are assured that information will not be used to take advantage. You would not wear your credit card numbers on the front of your shirt. If you are convinced that a friend needs some help, you might lend the information for a single transaction.
The lesson here is that, while you are trying to prepare your children to live a life of establishing relationships with others, you need to remember that you are still living in a dualistic world where the amount of negativity is equal to all the positive energy you are seeking. Adapt your beliefs and actions based on the circumstances in which you find yourself exposed. This is a good example of living in the now—being aware of everything around you.