Trying to be who they want you to be
QUESTION: Masters my one love, husband, after 18 years cheated on me, had another life, we have a daughter who is 2 and we are divorcing. He also has a porn addiction and I was made to do things I did not want, I’m as heartbroken as they come. Is there any meaning in this misery, is this my karma? I was faithful and very good to this man; but my love wasn’t enough. Your guidance is appreciated more than you know. ~Julianna, USA
ANSWER: This is not “karma” because it is not a punishment for something you have done. It is a part of your life lesson in honoring yourself, having self-confidence, and not allowing yourself to be manipulated. From the beginning of this relationship you have done whatever your husband requested, suggested, or demanded without ever speaking up because you thought that was necessary to get him to love you.
He has always been a selfish, egotistical, manipulative narcissist who was only ever concerned about his own sexual satisfaction. At no time did he ever consider that you were equal to him, and his very last thought was that the marriage should ever approach a sharing union. He has rarely been faithful to you.
You became infatuated early with him and the thought that he wanted little old you. You have struggled throughout your lifetime with thinking you are not worthy of anything else and that a wife should be obedient in the marriage. This is a life lesson that can be understood and put to rest with a little work.
You are a piece of Source energy, the same as he is. You are as magnificent, powerful, and deserving as Source. Allow yourself to accept that and demand that you be honored as the beautiful soul you are.
As you leave the marriage, visualize an ideal situation and bring a sharing, wonderful man into your life. In all coming relationships, always speak your own truth. Do not say or do something because you sense the other person wants you to perform in a way other than is comfortable to you. Be yourself, honor yourself, and you will find stability and happiness.