Learning love

QUESTION: Masters, I have been about 10 years in unsatisfactory relationship, but it´s very difficult decision to take divorce. Is this karmic relationship? We had problems already from the beginning of the relationship. I hadn´t satisfied did I love her enough, though I wanted to be with her. Actually I didn´t know what is love and I don´t know it even now. I have learned a lot from her in spiritual topics, but we quarrel almost every day and it´s very wearing though I understand that we have to learning forgiveness. However, I wonder is this because of the fact that we haven´t been created for each other or do I just live too much thru my ego? Are these conditions linked to my life lessons? If I divorce, do I get same lessons later or is my lesson to take responsibility for my own happiness taking divorce? ~Anton, Finland

ANSWER: There is no such thing as one soul being created for another soul. All souls are alike, and frequently a soul will ask another to enter into a relationship once on Earth so they might learn from the circumstances. You had determined you wanted to spend a life studying all aspects of love, the first of which is understanding love. You are still searching for that knowledge.

Your wife came along, as she had agreed, and in your search for love she seemed a good candidate to assist you in your studies. She was pleasant enough and, you thought, compatible enough for you to make a life together. You assumed marriage equals love – not so. There is also nothing karmic here because karma does not exist; there simply is no punishment for working through your chosen life lessons.

The only part of your ego interfering with a solution to your situation is the judging of right and wrong. Spiritual evolution or awakening comes through evaluating whether your current actions are allowing you to understand and move forward. What has happened is neither right nor wrong from that perspective.

Both of you had chosen to deal with being honest with your spouse and maintaining your own power in life. Accepting that the current arrangement is hindering rather than assisting you with your lessons shows you a change will help. Both of you have taught each other things you wished to experience, but little remains of this relationship but dealing with conflict.

Realizing your personal decisions and what has occurred because of them, you can create a different future by your choices going forward. You need to explore “love” in other places, such as in yourself. See if you can love being able to make choices that enrich your life. Love that you have accomplished finding respect of self in your life. You won’t have to repeat anything you understand.