Expectations defeat reality

QUESTION: Masters, I am 51 years old and never married. I have no children and never had a desire to have. I had some long relationships, always tumultuous, and never met a man who would take me. I spent my life in search of a love, a man that really stayed with me to walk together but so far that has not happened. I’m alone a few years and do not accept the possibility of spending the rest of my incarnation alone. I know that our happiness should not be linked to another person but I feel miserable without a companion. I really want one but love is taking very, very much to happen. Is being alone part of my destiny? Will I find someone in this life? ~CecíLia, Brasil

ANSWER: You are a very strong, controlling, somewhat selfish, and often manipulating individual. You have commanded to you what you want and have not found a compliant male. Your expectations of your needs come from the demands you envision and never take into consideration the other person. This has resulted in your history with men.

You start out a relationship displaying what you think the man wants and withholding what you demand from the affair. This has resulted in tumultuous outcomes and frequent changes in partner.

You must first identify your own definition of “love.” Start with asking if you truly love yourself. You can only love another to the extent that you love yourself. You can only share, and have another feel love, to the degree you accept yourself.

You have an intellectual understanding of this because you stated you are aware that love and happiness are not linked to the presence of another. Your misery and depression at being alone come partially from not having an audience to play to and control. Draw in a person who is open to the spiritual side of life. Give up your need to control and just start by discussing what you want out of life.

Being alone is not part of your destiny, but fulfilling your life lessons is. When you work through the issue of what love is, you will be able to share with another. Your success in finding a suitable mate is up to you and the amount of time you invest in finding love for yourself.