Needing to know

QUESTION: Masters, I have a friend who lives in the Philippines. She is half Filipino and half Japanese – and I think – has taken on some difficult life issues. She has never seen her father since birth – doesn’t understand why her father would not seek contact with her but would like to find him if possible. I feel her pain around this issue and would like to help if I can, at the very least to help her understand the life lessons that are being learned here. Her Aunty lives in Japan. Unfortunately although she has looked, she has not been able to find her niece’s Dad. Thus, it seems pointless for me to search online and this seems like the best route to start. ~Rex, England

ANSWER: Your friend’s lessons in this life include feeling abandoned and unloved because her father, who is nothing more than the person who contributed the sperm to fertilize her mother’s egg, chooses not to have anything to do with her. He does not wish to be associated with the mother, the daughter, or the family in any way; he did not want to have a baby.

This man’s lessons include guilt, thoughtlessness, selfishness, and insensitivity. He does not take responsibility for his actions and chooses to run away from anything he cannot control. Introducing him into your friend’s life would only create more heartache and difficult situations.

The biggest lesson for your friend is to recognize and accept that this is all about learning to love herself and not judge others. Self-love, when it is truly accepted, completes the needs for the human experience. It is not selfish or narcissistic to love oneself. It is merely an acceptance of the soul inside and its status as a piece of the magnificent, eternal Source.

Spending time trying to find your friend’s father takes away from the work that can accomplish learning and love in her life. She has created expectations of a loving individual and he is not it. He will not add anything to her life but sorrow. Whenever she thinks about him she is inviting in negative thoughts, emotions, and feelings. This attracts more negativity, and happiness (positive energy) is hard to find hidden in all of this.

Let her create a life of her own. She doesn’t need anyone else to tell her what she wants. She is looking for answers to her existence and they are all inside.