Hold my hand and lead me
QUESTION: Masters, for the past two years I have been feeling outside of myself lost, sad, depressed and at the same time so hopeful and spiritual. I came across some books that were brought to me about our spiritual journey in this beautiful life that we have and they have changed my life forever. Still I feel like I am not at ease as if I need someone to guide me to that peaceful place that I long to be in. Why am I feeling this way? What am I to do to fulfill that feeling of being part of something way bigger than me? I feel I need to be helping someone or saving the world. I also have these deep longing feelings of love for a friend who is in a very unfortunate situation and I feel like I must help him no matter what. ~Liliana, USA
ANSWER: Your see yourself as a dependent type person who does not wish to take responsibility for your actions. That is why you crave to have someone lead you and make the decisions for you so that if you are unhappy with the results it is not your fault but the one who led you. This is a possibility but it is the opposite of spiritual growth.
To grow in awareness of your soul and your journey here to Earth you must first accept that you have total freedom of choice for all decisions in life. Without exercising these choices you are not learning the power that is within.
You were drawn to the literature, not as a unique pattern for the development of your soul but merely as an example of one way it may be done. Everyone’s experience is different. It is for that reason that each soul must make their own decisions in order to grow in understanding and wisdom.
The person you need to be helping right now is yourself. You cannot help or love another beyond the extent to which you help and love yourself particularly the man to whom you are drawn. Find that peaceful place you seek inside you in the unconditional love energy which is the soul that animates your human body. Shut off all distractions and noises and search within for that quiet place. It takes work, solitary work. Someone else is not going to be able to do it for you. Once you find your essence you are part of a bigger thing – the universe!