The house help and punching bag

QUESTION: Masters, I am unable to stay happy. My husband and I have been married for 14 yrs. We live under the same roof but there is absolutely nothing husband-wife between us. He is big time into spirituality and healing and does energy healing to people. By education he is a doctor. All he does is criticize, condemn and complain. His “only” problem is me. We have two girls he dotes on. We cannot get divorced. How can I find peace here and move on? How can I not let this affect my day to day life? He has a horrible temper and uses me as a vent. ~Anita, US

ANSWER: Your definition of your husband’s behavior does not support his and your thinking that he is into spirituality big time. Truly spiritual persons let go of their ego and never judge what occurs around them. Your husband is an egotistical, selfish person. He likes to be in control and have others do his bidding. You do not fall all over him, as his clients do; you also do not pay him, so he doesn’t care what he says to you or what you think.

Because he does have the ability to channel healing energy, he is treated by some as a god when he helps to facilitate their healing. He is convinced that he is the source of the healing, but nothing is further from the truth. He is not responsible for the change in his patients. All healing is a combination of the energy that he channels through from the universal Source and the intention of the recipient. If the receivers do not completely believe they will be healthy or brought back into balance, they will not be—regardless of what your husband does or intends.

You are his only problem because you will not let him control every aspect of your life. He dotes on his daughters because they love him without question, at least at this point in their lives.

Why do you feel you cannot get divorced? You have the freedom to choose your path. You will only be able to find peace when you take charge of your own life, when you honor the person you are. You alone can choose to stay or go. Either choice is correct for you if you are making the decision.

If you stay, you must stop accepting the psychological abuse he is heaping on you. Stop feeling guilty when he tells you it is all your fault. It is only a reflection he is seeing of his own imperfection, which he is trying to deny and for which he is trying to blame you. Consider the source of his tirade; say to yourself that you are a beautiful, fantastic person, and he is missing out by being so blind. Ignore his temper by imagining he is in a cage of his own creation and is venting to try to get out of it. Send his soul love so it may see the lesson in which it is floundering.