Spiritualism and ego
QUESTION: Masters, in the past I met a spiritual instructor. I had admiration in terms of his work and giftedness. He never hides that he’s flawed and a womanizer. He sincerely conveys such clarity of information without imposing or controlling, his personal life tends to be a mess. He tends to manipulate personal relationships and acts the opposite of what he shares which led me to pull away from him and our friendship. I would like to know exactly what were his feelings for me, aside from the attraction he confessed, was he ever genuine in the affection and interest he manifested about wanting to be my friend and working artistically with me, or was all of it a game? Can you clarify what sort of person he really is? Truly spiritual but honestly hypocritical? How he feels presently about the way he dealt with me and my pulling away? ~Lana, UK
ANSWER: There are a lot of people who have researched a subject, know tons about it, can regurgitate that information back to others, but do not understand and live the philosophy or life they preach. You might call them hypocrites, or you might just say that their ego and physical needs exceed their spiritual journey. Some sum up the activity as: “those who know, do; those who don’t, teach.” But teachers who live what they teach fully understand the nature of their philosophy and have made the choice.
Your former teacher at least is honest in proclaiming that he is flawed. But is it a flaw? Only if he judges that he is not doing what he thinks he should be doing. In proclaiming his desires for women he is excusing himself for not being true to one person. He is setting himself up to possibly get sympathy from others and keep them from becoming mad at him for his insensitivity to their feelings.
His feelings for you were the same as for all his other conquests. He will say or do whatever he feels is necessary to get a woman to do his bidding. Then, when he had succeeded, he frequently tires of them, with no hunt to keep him going, and moves on to another. His attraction is to all women in general.
After the cycle is complete he has very little thought for the person—he merely moves on to the next. He did see some qualities in you that he thought would help him in his quests. But all his thoughts and plotting are for himself and his personal gratification, not to share or assist others in their growth.
Ego, thinking only of your physical satisfaction, judging what you desire above all else, has no place in the spiritual enlightenment of the human process. Follow your feelings. Everything in the past was part of your life lessons to understand who you are as a soul having this human experience. Have concern only for your own choices.