Choosing our world

QUESTION: Masters, a life lesson for me has to do with being able to express concern, frustration, or disappointment to others in a timely manner so that it does not build up and become extreme or hurtful and yet helps me get my own needs met. My family of origin provided an environment where expressing frustration or negative emotion was frowned upon. I see my tendency to want to change external circumstances and situations to find a clean slate that does not have these built-up resentments and difficulties. But while appealing in the short term, the new seems to only provide a playing field in which my stuck patterns play out anyway. I now sell software in the trucking industry which is pretty in-your-face! The lesson seems to be that I have to tell the truth in the moment even if it’s hard or risky. How would you advise me to best learn this? ~Jonathan, USA

ANSWER: The teachings and patterns from your youth were formed into steadfast belief systems that have a firm hold on your thought process. Even when you would prefer to act differently, they step in and dictate your actions. To get rid of them permanently you must confront them, erase them from your unconscious, and replace them with your desired behavior.

Humans don’t want to have to constantly go over the options for reacting in each incident in their life, so they have formed belief systems of how things should always be handled. These came from outside of you—from parents, teachers, society, anyone you felt was an authority in the right way to respond to things, or the way that would cause you the least amount of criticism. These rules reside in your unconscious mind so that they can be implemented automatically without having to invest any of your thoughts or time. Problems occur when you let them have control of you, and after a while, you find your actions are in conflict with your current beliefs and desires.

Just thinking about wanting to do something different is insufficient to change things. Like a weird phrase in a computer program, until the old pattern is removed, it keeps popping up and causing trouble. The soul’s journey is based upon freedom of choice; unfortunately, that is easier said than done. You have to know what your choices are before you can choose.

In your current occupation you are presented with many helpful inroads. When you stand up and put the subterfuge aside, you have to tell it like it is, even if it is potentially frustrating or negative, or may cause you disappointment. These feelings, by the way, will only affect you if you allow them to. They make you feel bad only if you accept some form of guilt for their appearance. If you see the situation as an ordinary transaction in life where not everyone is going to be happy, life will be satisfying because you are not frustrated or disappointed.

Pleasing yourself, and allowing yourself to speak your truth, no matter what it is, will start to release the hidden automatic responses. When you find a combination of actions that make you feel comfortable, thank the old patterns, erase them, and place the desired steps in their place. It will take a while to change what you don’t want, but life will be much more pleasant in return.