Mixed emotions

QUESTION: Masters, I am married for 25 years and I truly struggle about what to do. My husband is a good hearted man and takes very good care of me; however, I am not sure if I love him. I am always looking for a connection and intimacy with other men. I feel guilty about these thoughts in myself and want to understand. ~Johanna, Holland

ANSWER: You do not know what true unconditional love feels like, and you continue to search. It is rare to find this love in a human relationship based on human beliefs alone. Your search for that fulfillment should be inside rather than outside. Until you experience a true unconditional love of self, you will not be able to love another.

Intimacy, as you are seeking, is a human sensation of being on top of the world. You have to love yourself for these feelings to appear. You can have as many experiences as you want and never get to what you are seeking until you love yourself. A connection is built on trust and sharing. Something transitory will not give you that permanence. You must ask yourself exactly what it is that you want.

Your husband is a very good person. He is not exciting or that romantic anymore, but have you discussed it with him? He loves you the best he can but you don’t even know that. Before you throw away 25 years, take an inventory of the potential of what you have. Open a dialogue with him.