Peaceful marriage wanted

QUESTION: Masters, I am currently going through a very difficult time in my relationship with my husband. I am at a loss as to what to do. I have 2 children aged 18 and 15, so whatever decision that I take will impact them. I wish to have a peaceful relationship with my husband but don’t understand why each time we seem to be in conflicts. Please Masters, tell me what I should do? ~Sheila, Singapore

ANSWER: Your husband is using conflict as an easy means of distancing himself from you. Your children are already being affected by the situation between their parents because they feel the discord in the atmosphere. They are constantly being bombarded by decisions as to whose side to take in the battles.

As in all marital problems, the children feel that they are somehow responsible for the difficulties their parents are experiencing. They feel if they had better grades, caused less trouble, helped out more at home, hadn’t responded in such and such a manner, then the world would be more peaceful. They question why you allow this warfare to continue.

Your husband has no concern for what is happening. He wants out of any responsibility for the family. He is moving on and it is time for you to decide if it would be better if you did as well.

You fear change, yet you are miserable in your current situation. Any decision you make will allow you to learn more about yourself. You must respect yourself and accept you do not deserve to be treated in this fashion. Make any decision based on your feelings; the children will understand when they examine all the facts.