The amazing relationship
QUESTION: Masters, despite being in an amazing loving relationship that we both agreed to experience with awareness and sacredness, but, as soon as we are with someone else and in a group, my partner does not give me quality eye contact attention to and does not voice appreciative words about me even though he keeps on talking about our “amazing relationship” when we are together. Why does he display this opposite attitude when in a group or with someone else please? One of his insecurities? A karmic wound? ~Kita, UK
ANSWER: The problem here is not with your partner but rather with you. You have a continual need for validation. He is very serious about the feelings he expresses to you concerning his enchantment and the fulfillment he feels from your partnership. However, when he is with other people he likes to socialize and not dedicate his entire time to you—he does that when you two are alone. He also does not talk constantly about you in work situations, while shopping, or exercising. He fully engages in whatever he is doing. This does not mean he has adopted a different attitude toward you.
When you do not see him “spending all his time” on extolling your virtues you get panicky and doubt what he says to you in private. Part of the reason for your fear is you have trust issues and need constant re-enforcement. Though you know your relationship is an agreed one, you are not convinced you are good enough to have him and, as in some situations in the past, you are waiting to be betrayed.
He does not have any security issues concerning his commitment to you. This is all about you and your security issues. It is time to take an inventory and admit to yourself what your feelings are about relationships and interaction with other people in general.
Your partnership has become comfortable for you, as it should. Don’t start enclosing yourself in it alone. Spend time each day interacting with other people and talking about things other than your partner. Some folks are getting tired of hearing nothing but what a great relationship you have. You repeat it constantly to reaffirm it to yourself. There is no need to do this. Delve into the fear that creates this need. Bring it to the surface and accept that these fears are from the past and you have changed. Love where you are now and move forward.