Being manipulated for sex
QUESTION: Masters, I was in a relationship with a man in 1999. We separated when he left the country. Even though we were no longer together, we continued to holiday together once a year till 2006. He is now in a relationship with a woman who will be moving into his house in two weeks. This is a big move for him as he has never lived with a woman before. He wants to go for a last holiday with me. Why does he want to go on a holiday with me? To say goodbye? And risk losing his current partner for a few days with me? I am confused. I love him and I could sense his love for me. I want to marry him and have been willing to move to his country. But he seems happy with his current partner who is from the same city. I felt that he abandoned me even though I was pregnant in our past lives and we have unfinished business in this life. How would a holiday, after he and his partner moved in together, help us finish business? I love him, want to be the mother of his child, and his wife. ~Bintang, Singapore
ANSWER: This man is a manipulator, a liar, and a cheat. He is very charming and can seem to be devoted to someone—the one he is with at that moment. Since he left eleven years ago he has had a steady stream of women in and out his door. He loves variety and diversity so he maintained contact with you for that reason. Your holidays together were a no-commitment—on his part—way to sustain multiple relationships. You are not the only one he has such an arrangement with.
The years between 2006 and today were filled with other women. Some have caught on to his supposed commitment to a single partner and have told him to be gone and not try to trick them anymore. He has come back to you because he is aware that you are unfamiliar with his activities in the intervening years. He has a very high level of sexual need. He satisfies this with the use of multiple partners. He has contacted you again to replace those women who have left him.
You have done this with him in a past life. He was the same type of scoundrel then as he is now. He ran off when a child would have caused a commitment. Your unfinished business in this lifetime is to see what he really is and stop trying to imagine him to be loving and caring toward you. He does not want to marry you and definitely does not want to have a child with you.
He sees you as a love object to play with. There are no right or wrong actions in your soul’s journey, so you have freedom of choice as to your next move. You may play his game, but please consider honoring yourself. Stop the cycle of use and abuse that this relationship has been and go on with your own life.