How fast things change
QUESTION: Masters, I met a wonderful man 3 years ago at work. It just clicked between us. We were talking nonstop for hours. I felt almost at once that we are soul mates; we were like one but still two different persons. The time for me couldn´t have been better. Then his divorce, work, etc. got too much for him. He became depressed, so much so that he pushed me out of his life. He told me that it could be the biggest mistake in his life. We are keeping in touch someway but not much, as he gets upset hearing my voice. Does it mean that he still has feeling for me? I know that we are meant to be together in this life. I hope you can help me on this situation and tell me: am I losing him or is he coming back to me? What kind of soul agreement have we made and are we fulfilling it? I feel his energy near me all the time. I am very hopeless and I am so empty inside. ~Saija, Finland
ANSWER: This man is not your soul mate. The contract you had was to awaken each other to the ability to share with another in a non-threatening manner. Before this experience he had closed in upon himself completely. He was in fear of sharing himself in any way. Most of his experiences in life had been similar in the threats of being controlled and abused by others. While you have provided him with the possibilities, he is not ready to accept that he has freedom of choice in all things.
He has gone back into his protective shell. The sound of your voice reminds him of what might have been, and that he is cheating himself because of his fear of change. He does not want to remember, so he cringes at the sound of your voice. He is making the choice to fall back into old patterns rather than face unknown fears and move forward.
The only feeling he has for you right now is one of dread—a fear that you will force him to face decisions he does not want to acknowledge. The future decisions he will make are all completely up to him. He may choose to see you again, but he would have to work through a lot of issues to be able to bring himself to that point.
Your “knowing” that you belong together is just wishful thinking because of the ease you found in communicating with him. You have the ability to do this with others as well. Remember the way the exchange felt and search for that as you have contact with others. Get out of your dream expectation of having a life with this man. You are committing yourself to a relationship that is not to be.
The energy you have identified with him is actually the sense of freedom of being without fear when with another. Take that feeling and apply it to other partners and it will feel the same. Stop fixating on this one man, and be open to the other possibilities in the world around you. While waiting for the next man to come into your life, look for the unconditional love of your soul, which is inside, and the loneliness will disappear.