Archive for June 12th, 2012

Being realistic

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

QUESTION: Masters, because I didn’t want to repeat mistakes of the past I have this ideal scenario where I would have a new job ready before I resign from my current job. My parents become angry and disappointed with me and my financial instability. However, I just got myself into the same situation again. This time, my divine guidance is that I’ve got to take responsibility for my own happiness. If I keep waiting for that ideal scenario to happen, I would then become a victim to my unhappiness. Did I interpret correctly? Now I feel like I am the facing my nightmare again. I have to face the old emotions like fear, unsettling, worries and self-doubt once again. I’m not sure if I have done the right thing. Do I have to consider practicality in this situation, e.g. my financial stability, my worries about securing a job due to age? ~Faith, Singapore

ANSWER: We agree you should take responsibility for your own happiness, but that does not mean being irresponsible about the results of what you think would make you happy. Are you happy right now after you quit your job? No! Responsibility also has to do with anticipating and accepting the results of the actions you take.

Your divine guidance told you to consider leaving the job to increase your happiness. It did not say leave now and don’t think of the consequences. You have done this in the past, so you well knew what would happen when you left with no plans to provide for your needs. You thought only of immediate gratification. You have to be more practical and consider your needs.

When the message came through that it was time to move on in order to increase your happiness, you should have remembered the problems of leaving unprepared, and started looking for something more appropriate. Leaving the way you did also does not look good to future employers. They do not know if they will be able to depend on you to be loyal to the company if you have a habit of just getting up and leaving, which can make it more difficult to get a new job.

If you had done some searching before you acted, there would be minimal fear, worries, and self-doubt. What you did was an example of running away instead of facing the situation and remedying the unhappiness you were feeling. Your ideal scenario was constructed with lessons you went through in the past. However, since you did the same thing again, you didn’t learn and therefore had to repeat them. They will continue to recur until you learn and may then move on to another lesson.

You can’t change another

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

QUESTION: Masters I recently started a relationship with a man whom I love very much. Last week, he ended it saying that although it’s going well, there are reasons why he doesn’t think it would work in the long term, and therefore we should end it now. He has agreed to discuss this more with me. One major stumbling block is that he says he is too old to have children (though he said before he would like to). I believe some of his issues are fears which we can work through, and that he has genuine feelings for me. Would you agree that this is worth pursuing, and we should give it more time? ~SG, UK

ANSWER: You have freedom of choice to make the decisions you need to in order to experience the things you need to learn. This gentleman is lacking in self-confidence, and sees mostly negative things in his future. He has fears about anything that he has not personally experienced. The unknown terrifies him. He is not ready to face discomfort; therefore he is not about to work through his fears.

You cannot get people to make any changes they do not seek to make. His feelings for you are connected with the fact that you feel like a safe harbor to him. He sees you as a nurturer. You are non-threatening and, in the past, have made no demands of him. When you got serious about the future, he panicked and wanted to run away rather than change to make a future with someone else having an input into his life.

You may talk him into giving it a try for a while longer, but he is not ready to change. He has such low self-esteem that he thinks you would be better off without him. He has a dream of what he thinks he might like that includes a family, but he cannot see himself taking care of anyone else. His energy is that of a child who relies upon his mother to keep the bogeyman away.

Nothing is right or wrong, so make your decision about what to do based upon your feelings. Knowing he isn’t ready to change, how hard do you want to try? How long do you want to hit your head against a brick wall? The choice is yours.

You attract what you need

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

QUESTION: Masters, I seem to attract a lot of (mostly unwarranted – I feel) disrespect, hostility and, even hatred from people throughout my life. I truly have learned a lot from this but why do I continue to manifest this and for what purpose? Some of these people seem to be profoundly mentally ill, am I manifesting this in them? In other words, am I harming these individuals? ~David, USA

ANSWER: A soul cannot make others be or feel anything they themselves do not want to be or feel. You are not the cause of other people’s apparent problems. You are not harming anyone just by recognizing the lessons they chose for themselves. Honor them for the difficult task they took on and choose not to interact in their lives.

You chose life lessons around negativity, which raises emotional issues within your body. They are very base feelings concerning hatred, anger, hostility, and disrespect. You have had many experiences with them. They have affected you only because you chose to acknowledge that they should have an impact upon you.

Most of your responses have been to fight back or to bury the moment and not explore why the emotions rose up inside you. People cannot be hurt by the energy of others unless they take the words or actions to heart and identify with a truth contained therein. Since you have within yourself unresolved issues of anger, hatred, hostility, and being disrespected, you pull those experiences to yourself like a magnet.

It is time to start asking why you feel others hate you. Isn’t it because, on some level, you hate yourself for who you are and what you put up with? Ask where those feelings originate. Go to those early-life traumas and accept that you do not need to hold on to them or allow them to still have an effect on you. Do this with each of these hurtful negative feelings you are holding. Once you have seen why you draw these emotions to yourself, you will be able to free yourself from the need to have them near.

As you clear each incidence of past disrespect, hatred, and hostility, allow yourself to replace it with self-love for all the hard work you are doing to learn the lessons so you do not have to repeat them. The more love you build inside, the less space there is for any negativity to creep inside. Examine, release, love!