Archive for August 15th, 2008

Being a sex slave

Friday, August 15th, 2008


Q: Masters, my fiancé wants sex several times a day, every day. He claims that he has a sexual addiction and can’t live without the physical release. I love him dearly and don’t want to leave him but his demands are just too much for me. Don’t get me wrong—I do enjoy sex, just not constantly. I long to spend time just talking and sharing about our day. What is my best course of action?

A: Your fiancé lacks confidence in himself and in the way he deals with others. He judges all in view of his sexual prowess and the way he can control you and get you to do anything that he wants. He feels powerless in the outside world, but in your home he is the acknowledged King making all the demands.

When he is in the throes of sexual release, the pleasure he experiences blots out all the fear and discomfort that exists for him the rest of the time. Who would not choose to be in control and satisfied too? He is incapable of going a whole day without using bliss to banish his ghosts. The more sex, the less he has to be confronted by the reality of his life.

You have chosen to learn this lesson to see how you can be consumed by another and not be able to make any of your own choices. If you do not take back your decision-making power you will remain a slave in this current situation. Because your fiancé will not allow himself to see why he wants to always be engaged in sex rather than experiencing life’s other learning possibilities, the only way change can occur in this circumstance is for you to make it.

Your choices are: to go along with the current state of affairs; to confront him and tell him to get help so that he understands why he hides behind sexual pleasure; to take back your power and refuse his demands unless he spends time talking and sharing with you; or to realize that you are not in a normal relationship, and that to be in one you will have to move on.