Unacceptable conditions

QUESTION: Masters, I have a 22-year-old daughter who decided to become estranged from the whole family. After two years she made contact, via an email, which had her conditions for re-establishing a relationship. They are not conducive to a relationship of a loving nature. I do not know what to do. I have found myself drawing closer to my higher self and my sense of purpose beyond this life. Is this the challenge set before me of letting go of an attachment which has unhappiness associated with it, even though it involves my daughter? She was always the child who thrived on keeping the house in chaos, and loved bullying me and anyone she felt she could have power over. I don’t know who she is anymore. Can you help me find the right path where I don’t feel that I am leaving behind a child who was in my keep?    ~Kate, USA

ANSWER: No one should have to put or accept conditions on a relationship. Your daughter is still the bully you remember from the past. Since she has been out in the world through her self-imposed exile, it has been more and more difficult for her to find people who readily allow her to take away their energy. She is looking for a refueling base and that is the reason behind her desire to be with her family again. She figures she was able to call the shots before, and have that sense of power, so why not do it again?

As a soul you have no responsibility for anyone other than yourself and finding your reason for being here. Society says that a child is always a child and you have responsibility for her forever. This is so people have someone to blame. Once a person reaches the age of majority, parents are no longer legally responsible for anything that their child does, even though it is easier on society if you voluntarily assume responsibility.

You cannot make someone do anything that she does not choose to do. Whether the person is related to you or not is irrelevant. Your daughter made her choice to leave. Do not allow her to have control over you again, just to have contact with her. If she should ever choose to return with no strings attached, then receive her with love, but don’t accept terms in exchange for endearment.