What will I permit myself?
QUESTION: Masters, I have conquered 50 years of depression, drama, and emotional agony after massive sexual abuse during childhood, youth into adulthood. Now, at age 70, I choose to live a happy life. I have forgiven myself and my abusers, give love and inspire others whenever I have an opportunity. I wish I could manifest financial independence as well. It seems to me that every time when I am about to come into money, it is somehow sabotaged. Same thing with people in my life, I don’t seem to be capable of close and intimate relationships. Am I doing something wrong, or did I decide as a soul to miss out on these great experiences? ~Brigitte, US
ANSWER: The whole question for you is what you will allow yourself to bring into your world. While you have forgiven yourself for the choices you made before coming, you have not gone back to the basics and accepted that you are none other than a soul having a physical experience.
That means that you are a piece of Source energy and have all the same powers and abilities that exist within Source energy. You are all powerful, all creative, and all knowing, but only if you accept and believe that you have those qualities.
One of your lessons, which you have not completed, is that you are entitled to use your essential essence of Source energy to continue living this particular human existence and making it what you will. The first step to clearly seeing yourself as a piece of Source is to love yourself. You don’t have to like everything that has happened and is happening to and around you, but you need at least to love the fact that you had the courage to come to Earth and go through everything you chose to experience.
While you think you have forgiven and made right all the horrific things that were a part of your lessons, you have not gotten rid of the physically embedded negativity that accompanied the human actions. You are still flinching whenever approached, because even under the guise of a friendly exterior, your abusers had malicious intent. You don’t trust it won’t happen again.
Start your new life by visualizing a perfectly safe companion. Be yourself without the armor you unconsciously erect. See others as friendly, harmless, fellow citizens of planet Earth. Remind yourself that you do not have to re-experience any of your earlier lessons. Have a mantra that you deserve to be loved by others as much as you love yourself, and that you can be financially stable. Create what you desire.