Exposing the lessons
QUESTION: Masters I’ve learned that my negative energy drives my experiences and have been working on shifting it and trying to grasp what it means to be a piece of Source energy by connecting with a wise guide. Feeling stuck recently doing this work, after making positive changes, I discovered GUILT, related to unwittingly hurting innocents (I even have dreams and past life memories of hurting children because of shame/ guilt/ pride.) In this life, I was given too much responsibility for siblings, and feel I abandoned them. My inability to give them what I promised but could not deliver damaged our relationships and maybe even their lives. I’m afraid I’m doing the same to my son, who is often oppositional. Failure and guilt hold me back from expanding my sense of self and pursuing studies and work I want to do, and I can’t see how to learn from them. ~Christina, USA
ANSWER: Positive energy drives things as well. Negative energy is the one that drives society and you are very conscious of things around you, so you have focused on the negative. It is also the way lessons are learned – to choose positive over negative.
You are pinpointing several of your life lessons. They basically deal with your self-concept of responsibility, with guilt being the result of perceived failure in both how you feel about what you perceive you had agreed to do and what you were able to accomplish due to human restrictions.
First remember that all souls are where they incarnated for the experiences that particular environment is able to provide. Each soul is on their own path and is not dependent upon any other – even those sharing the same experiences. So, your siblings chose to be here to experience what they have chosen as lessons. You were placed in the situation of responsibility because you chose to work through the emotions you are now dealing with. No one would have been presented with these factors except through choice.
The guilt you are now feeling arises from a misguided belief that you had a responsibility to them, which is not correct. You created an obligation because of a need to make their life better than yours. That was not why you came; it was to see what you could do with your lot in life. You have done this type of lesson in the past and have never accepted that your life is for yourself and not others.
The way your siblings and son feel about you is a reflection of how you think about yourself. They are all looking at things from their selfish perspective, which is one of their lessons, and seeing it mirrored in you because you blame yourself for their not being able to complete their chosen lessons. Each soul has only itself to bring into awareness. When you accept yourself by understanding why you came, you will be able to move forward.