Parenting responsibilities
QUESTION: Masters, I have a question about parenting. I fear I have lost my energy about it, am doubting what I do and what and how I can or cannot control. The situation with my ex-husband makes it more difficult, we cannot cooperate well for their sake. I fear I am closing up myself to them despite all efforts I take, and despite I feel my life took a better turn and I open myself more and more to the bigger picture I learn about. How could I let go of wanting to be the best and not take on the immense responsibility for all? ~Lorena, Hungary
ANSWER: There is more than one way to look at “parenting.” There is society’s way, where the parents are responsible for everything that the child does and believes. There is the spiritual way, where it is known that each soul is responsible for its own life and learning. And there is the child’s perspective, either wanting the parent to do everything for them or to leave them completely alone to find their own way.
There is no right or wrong answer to this dilemma. Whom do you want to please: society, the child, or yourself? As with all souls, a child will not do anything that they do not choose to do. So, no matter how hard you work, if they don’t want your interaction it is wasted.
On the other hand, if you do everything for the child, you are preventing them from learning the lessons they came to experience, because one works their way to understanding by using their freedom to choose negative or positive actions. Every soul chooses their environment, so your children are always part of the selection process of the type of family they will enter. In this case it was inevitable that the family would be split, with different parenting skills being provided by each parent and the child having to decide through their freedom of choice.
A soul comes to Earth to experience a lot of different things. The primary purpose is to find out who they are as a soul and what elements of living they wished to encounter. Your opening is to the possibilities of a soul having a human experience, and all that implies.
One aspect of spiritual growth is removing yourself from societal ego judgment. Determining what is “best” is a judgment and simply a comparison of your actions versus the activity of another. Go into your heart and see what feels like the assistance you can provide without judging it against other people. You are never responsible for the decisions made by another – even your child.