How far do the vows go?

QUESTION: Masters I’ve been married for 26 years, and during the past five+ years my husband has lost much of his hearing, has a knee that needs replacing, has two hernias along with some incontinence. He refuses to fix his body, so there is no longer any intimacy. Plus, I get so frustrated with him not listening or hearing me that I can no longer feel any unconditional love. I feel that I have lived previous lives with him,
but no longer want to ever do this again. I feel like I am always waiting for him to “get it.” What advice do you have for me? I have felt that I will be widowed one day.
~Cathy, USA

ANSWER: Your husband has turned into a self-indulgent, selfish person. He cares only for himself and how much he can get others to do for him. He is extremely unhappy and is dragging you down with him, and he doesn’t care.

Every soul comes to Earth with their own agendas. They have no obligations to take responsibility for others unless they choose to do so. You have been a good and faithful wife and at first were rewarded with a sharing relationship. What you are experiencing now is nothing more than attempting to honor the piece of paper that societally bound you to this man.

What you do from this point forward is up to you. You may maintain this hapless existence or move on. He has no intention of changing his current behavior pattern, so you must decide how you want your life to play out. You are not attached physically to him, but emotionally you cling to the memories of the “good times” you shared. They are gone and will not return.

Everyone creates their own reality by the choices they make. There is no spiritual law that says you have to allow this man to create your reality by the demands he makes and the state in which he chooses to exist. Recognize that, for your own sanity, you have to make changes in your life and the interactions you have with others. At the very least, find something outside the home to occupy your time. And at the extreme, if it still is too overpowering, leave for a while to visit someone. He will see everything that you do for him and may decide to be more proactive in his own life.

You are not stuck in this situation unless you allow yourself to be. You have freedom of choice for anything from minor changes to relocation.