Dealing with negativity
QUESTION: Masters I do not want to be around toxic people yet my sister-in-law is toxic and narcissistic. She is the center of family functions. If I don’t go my husband and children get upset and are asked all kinds of questions about why I’m not there. Am I supposed to go and learn to tolerate her toxic nature? Is this part of my journey? ~Anne, United States
ANSWER: How a person responds to an environment is completely within their control. Your sister-in-law is part of a lesson you chose requiring patience, honoring yourself and holding your own in the midst of negativity, and exercising freedom of choice.
You have to ask yourself what causes your violent reaction to her. You are not subjected to physical harm from her, so what is it that triggers your response? The actions of a person can harm you emotionally, such as she is doing, only if you allow her to have that effect on you.
There is a part of you that envies the attention focused on her and the fact that the rest of the family caters to her. Why is she any better than you? Well, she isn’t, unless you assign that label to her. Toxicity must be permitted to permeate your exterior for it to cause damage.
Accept that she is no better than anyone else. Accept that the opinions of other people all play into the life lessons they are working on, and honor their choices even when they are in opposition to your own. In the presence of negative energy, don’t react to it because that will only call more to the moment. Instead, fill your life with unconditional love for yourself first, and then for all the others so that they might understand the frivolous antics of your sister-in-law or the ones generating negativity.
Don’t judge what others are doing – that only plays into the ego workings of a non-spiritual person. Reject the negativity and bring in the positive love. Become an observer, just watching how everyone is making their decisions. This will help you not only to learn your own lessons but also to see if there is some other lesson out there you would like to study.